The return of Campag Velocet...

the mockney of Damon!
the face of Noel!
the hair of Clint Boon!
the talent of Gareth Gates!

Campag Velocet should stay unsigned, they're poo. Every time some ironic student twat requested it on MTV2, I had to have a flick 'round, braving the dangers of MTV Base and The Box. NOT GOOD.

I wanna know what happened to Roxette. They were quite possibly the Band of the Century (well, in China).

their singer had brain surgery recently. true.

For me, 'Almost Unreal' has to be their finest moment. Oh yes.

Ill-informed (Dale Price)!

Firstly, the definition of a Mockney is either someone from outside London that affects a fake working class accent i.e. that sported by Damon Albarn or a middle-class or upper-class person from London who also affects a fake working class accent. This hardly seems to apply to Pete Voss. Having met him and members of his family, I can vouch for the fact that he is the epitome of a working class southerner and that his accent is 100% genuine. I trust this clears the matter up for you Mr Price.

As for the face of Noel – hey – I get it – he’s got brown hair and thick eyebrows. I assume, Mr Price, that you cannot see the difference between a 5ft 4 inch northerner with a bowl haircut and a 6ft 1 inch southerner with a crew cut!

The hair of Clint Boon (see above).

The talent of Gareth Gates? Have you heard Bon Chic Bon Genre? Or do you listen to middle-of-the-road lightweight shite like Coldplay, Stereophonics and Oasis.

It's called a subjective opinion. It doesn't need informing as it is based on the immediate response to sensory input.

I watched a music video, supposedly a representation of the artists concerned, and these were my impressions. Who the fuck cares if someone is genuinely, 100% working class? I was talking about the fact he was singing in a an accent akin to Damon's Parklife-era mockney.

Dale, you are feckin knob. with handles. sort your ears out. The Pag rule.