It’s only just come to our attention that Xtra Mile-signed songwriter sort Chris TT has been offering our own Kev Kharas out for a bit of a knock-about. Yes, we’re slow. But this is fun. So here it is.
Kev’s never one to mince his words, so when reviewing a recent single by Luke Leighfield he remarked:
“Still struggling to find justification for the tepid vocals, ‘comedy’ metal solo and lame keys, all I can muster is that Luke Leighfield remains the single most convincing reason to date why people like Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly, Chris T-T and Scouting For Girls should be bound and gagged, sat in front of a mirror and made to watch as the oxygen slowly emigrates from their lungs.”
To which Mr TT wrote on his blog, on July 5 (and after some lovely positive comments about DiS, we should note):
“In a (really harsh) review of Luke Leighfield’s single, reviewer KK (who the fuck?) mentions me in passing, alongside Get Cape and - deep breath - pause to load up a big fat shotgun - Scouting For Fucking Girls! Obviously there’s a nasty (quite funny actually) description as well: he wants us to die (suffocating, tied up in front of a mirror I think). But that’s not important. This is important: Scouting For Girls? SCOUTING FOR CLUMPING UBER REPETITIVE INANE DUMBO PIANO BASHING DOFF-DOFF-DOFF FUCKTARDERY GIRLS!?
“So. I know it’s unprofessional but I’m calling you out, ‘KK’, you custard-thick substandard shit-stick of a hack you… you’re not too big or too old for me to put you over my knee and give you a good hard thrashing. I’m serious. If I learn who you are, and we’re in the same room or field, and you don’t surround yourself with muscle very fast, I’m going to give you a spanking, my friend. Bare arse and everything. No belts or paddles, but you’ll pray you weren’t born. The relentless teethgrinding trite-city that is S******* F** G***s? I tell you, you’ll be wishing you’d never even typed their name out so close to mine, as your tearful friends rub antiseptic cream into your aching butt-cheeks. You are fuckked.”
If Mr TT would be up for getting down to the Linford Christie Sports Centre on July 27, he’ll find Kharas scampering about in his short-shorts for the second annual BSM 5-A-Side tournament. As beaten finalists last year, DiS is hopeful of going one better this time around. With or without a potentially TT-battered Kharas. Bring the pain.