Boring music sends you to sleep: report

Hoteliers Travelodge have carried out their own survey into the pre-sleep bedroom habits of weary Britishers. Sexy results? No.

The survey asked 2,248 people to reveal who they listened to send them to sleep, with Coldplay, James Blunt, Snow Patrol, Take That and Norah Jones coming out on top.

HEALTH, Trencher, Lamps and Neubaten landed just outside the top five, while celebrated spume-recipient and tits Jordan’s autobiography won out over those from David Beckham, Jodie Marsh, Coleen McLoughlin and Sharon Osbourne in the reading stakes.

"The research shows that we are increasingly relying on slow, sleepy music and unchallenging books to take our minds off the pressures of modern living, to help us switch off and get to sleep at night,” says the man from Travelodge.

“Coldplay and Jordan seem to hit just the right spot among Britain's insomniacs."

Other methods favoured include counting shoes, handbags, calories and items off of shopping lists (women) and money, goals scored by supported football teams and past sexual conquests (men). Nothing in this paragraph is a lie.