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Geri vs JK? Spice Girl turns author

Geri Halliwell has announced a change of career, one that seems to spell the end of those Spice Girls reunion stories.

The former singer is to begin writing books for children. She started writing when pregnant with her daughter, Bluebell Madonna.

Just read that name one more time. Bluebell. Madonna. This woman should not be allowed anywhere near children.

Halliwell has said of her books, which will feature a central character called Ugenia Lavender (again, wut?): "There is a positive message in there, but it tastes like chocolate not cabbage."

O.K.A.Y.

She continued:

"One of the greatest gifts in life is actually to love what you do. For me, writing Ugenia Lavender is one of them.

"As far as music is concerned, I feel like I've given it my best... I realise I've had my turn and now have to let it go."

If I tilt my head at the same angle as her's

it's like she's here, lying next to me.

some of her singles were.....................................

....................................................................ok?

geri halliwell -

the first person i ever saw naked on the internetts.

When I was like 14

I dead fancied her. That dress she wore to the Brits...oooooeeeerrrr!

Blates...

Baby, then here, then Scary...

t'other two? BLERGH.

*her

I'd be Geri, then Baby

back then, because I was young and I wanted a sexually active older lady to educate me in the ways of life.

But now being older and world weary, I'd love to ruin the virgin-esque Baby.

Who between Girls Aloud and the Spice Girls

has the stronger batting line-up, so to speak. Two number 11's in Mel C and the ginger one from Girls Aloud I reckon. But Girls Aloud with greater depth?

Geri Halliwell

I'd still slip it in

Back in the Day

I had a paper-round, my first day was the day they had Geri Halliwell topless all over page three.

I stole it and delivered the newspaper without page three cos i was too pikey to go back to the newsagents and buy my own.

Ugenia Lavender

sounds like a urinal cake...

Bluebell Madonna and Ugenia Lavender

She should be banned from naming anyone ever again.

Bluebell Madonna and Ugenia Lavender

She should be banned from naming anyone ever again.

oh my god

this posted twice!? i'll look SUCH a retard!

If something's worth saying

say it twice I say! Stand aside Tolkien let Geri come through

why oh why

do pop ladies now think that popping a sprog qualifies them to write childrens' literature.

If you listen hard you can hear a million genuinely talented female writers for children who struggled to get published and ended up as primary school teachers and copy writers weeping bitter tears.

Fame = publsihing deal... can we drive all of the publishers who sign up celebs into the ocean, please?

Haha...

posting things twice is SO lame!

Haha...

posting things twice is SO lame!

...

Damn it!

...

Damn it!

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