Saturday

On Saturday morning I am working in the InBetweeners Teen Area, giving a workshop for Culture Works, to nine delightful young women. They want to know about music journalism and how a prize idiothole like me gets to write about BANDS for almost no pence. We compose divvy questions with which to pester civilians, vox pop the unwashed with a cameraman, and then four of us troop off to see wor homeboy Ed Sheeran. I have a mega-brolly because it is now wazzing it down, they have clipboards and are brilliant; noticing everything. Then we all trudge back in the endless rain to write Ed up, good and proper. A lot of young girls (and it should be said, what seems like half the festival) appreciate Sheeran’s incredibly earnest, loop-pedalled, musical scaffolding - and the arena is filled entirely, despite the emptying skies. So although I am neither young nor in agreement, and although I have to miss Adam Ant, I survive, and go away feeling one-part Mum, to one part Yoda.

Photo by Marc Sethi.
A short tour of the Modern Toss Activity Centre results in my putting their living cartoon into my facehole (as posed by Laura Snapes, above), and their periodic table of swearing into my ears. They have an old fashioned photo booth where it is possible to get a portrait done by a Real Modern Tosser - a swindle on waitress paper I feel sure they find funnier than those who pay £5 for one. They have marvellous posters, and I am glad This Sort of Thing is here, incongruously transgressive and corruptive as it is.
Then, I see The Walkmen. Already a convert, I feel a Ready Brek glow around the whole of my person immediately upon entering the Word tent. I also get an urge to shut my eyes (EMBARRASSING) but do it anyway [WHO CARES]. There are few bands capable of capturing a crowd like this, I think. And you can see it in the way people look at each other, the unconverted raising their eyebrows as if to say ‘Good, eh?’ while we sly faithful are too busy blissing to return; ‘OF COURSE THEY ARE’. At one point the pale-grey-suited fox that is Hamilton Leithauser is bent back SO far, and singing SO hard, I worry he will burst a vein and cover the front rows in red. And then they do The Rat, they do The Rat, they do The Rat. And In The New Year. And I sigh - hard - because it is resplendent - and because they always play as if the songs had just occurred to them; always furious and rich as Christmas.

We will gloss past Cerebral Ballzy - because though admirably perky, their idea of rebellion seems to be something to do with skateboarding where THE MAN tells them NOT TO (which is not exactly chartering-a-ferry-to-play-snot-addled-chords-on-the-Thames-during-the-Silver-Jubilee levels of naughty). Granted, the young men of Latitude are loving them - but I find more to favour in Y Niwl, who manage to whisk us far, far away from Suffolk; to somewhere beachier, where all chords are legally required to do some sort of waltzy, staccato jangle. And where all the men have neatly-pressed shorts and sports jackets and side partings, and everyone looks like Mike Love circa 1957. Admirable, admirable band.
Before Seasick Steve comes on, he is, of course, backstage. I know this because a man who works backstage tells me a story all about it on Sunday. He also tells me about some sheets of ply (‘Not cheap. Eighty quid a sheet, right’) which his fellow stage-maker stacked up against a shed for safekeeping. But with the dirt tracks reduced to sludge, everyone starts snaffling this ply, and it makes the man ANGRY. Finally snapping, he confronts the driver of a van who has just put a sheet of his eighty quid ply in front of his vehicle, for to drive on it. He asks ‘What do you think you’re doing?’ (though I suspect he uses a bit more Anglo Saxon) - whereupon he is told the wood is free, you can can help yourself. Our stage-making man protests, points out that it belongs to him, and then he discovers he is hactually arguing with Seasick Steve’s driver. Shortly after which, Seasick Steve himself appears. There is more arge and more barge, the whole sorry episode being called to a halt when the septuagenarian blues mentalist rips off his t-shirt and chases Our Man out of the backstage area, brandishing his fists. It was eight quid a sheet, right, and it's all true, a man tole me. Which may explain why, when Seasick Steve comes on, he is racing his way through a bottle of well bad booze. I mean, just look at the mad old dog:

I want to be that captivating (but less aggy) when I am seventy.
Meanwhile, my own top still firmly on, I go off to see DELS. Ah, Dels, pride of Suffolk, man after my own heart and master of hip-hop that is at once amiably straight-forward and glitchily strange. He has Elan Tamara on keyboards, and two megadudes whose names I miss on propulsive, Spartan drums and an extra set of keys. He is a calm and stately sort of rapper. I go to see him with someone who is not yet familiar and they are at once won over. There are supporters here from Ipswich, it is heartening.
We stick around for a bit of Cocknbullkid, who has half a bag of multi-coloured pom-poms on her head and person, as well as a bushel of neatly effective pop songs in her heart. Then I go to the woods to see Steve Mason, who does exactly what I want him to do, positing vaguely paranoid theorem about NOTW between songs, looking like the everybloke in a gold chain you forget he is. This is when it finally dawns on me and - drunk enough to bore for Britayne - I bang on and on and ruddy on about how the Beta Band were a scally band, a baggy band, I don’t know how I missed this before, you know, they're a SCALLY BAND, YEAH? Essentially everything starts to make sense (at least to me), and so, quite dreadful on rum, we go out in search of things to dance to. And although there is a certain dreadness when sound bleed means you can still hear Paolo Nutini despite being on the other side of the festival, doing your darnedest not make a tit of yourself while Tinie Tempah's 'Pass Out' is on, it is o-kay. After that there will be a disco shed, where you forget how you now have not one but two rudimentary socks made out of M&S plastic bags on your feet. It is hardly worth mentioning; we are dancing, iss sblurry brills, and I have already forgotten I have a house.
All photos (except where noted) by DiS' Jamie Boynton.
Read Friday's Latitude review here.
Read Sunday's Latitude review here, here.
Wendy is on Twitter, here.
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Check your facts
You really shouldn't post heresay from stage crew as if it's the gospel truth. Obviously they're going to make their boy sound like the victim. I was there when it happened and it wasn't anything like what you said. First of all, it was about bits of wood, bits of wood that were left in the mud and the *stage crew* put down next to Steve's bus in order to unload the equipment from the bus bays. About an hour later the chap you mentioned, comes up and just starts SCREAMING at Steve's crew, and also at the girls working at Absolute Radio. Screaming and waving his fists about and being basically crazy. He was told over and over that it was the stage crew that put the boards down, and refused to listen and just kept threating all sorts of weird and wonderful stuff. At one point he physically threatened Seasick Steve's SON, and that's when Steve himself got involved. Same as I would if you threatened my son. Basically the guy was just a d*ckhead of the first degree and was shortly thereafter removed from the festival site by security.
I think it's fairly clear from the tenor of the whole piece...
..that this is a silly story. Told in a daft fashion. With the obvious air of truthiness, versus stone cold fact. But I am glad you have the other side! And honestly wish I had seen it.
You know what would be really good??
To actually read a review of the festival. These two pieces are written like the author was given two flasks of coffee, then was asked to sum up the festival in 10 seconds using a speech to text program.
There was more talk about something that happened backstage (which is probably not gospel) than anything that resembles a coherent view of a bands set.
I'm sure DiS can do better than this. In fact i KNOW it can.
this man is a fool^
your excited babbling and made up words and are ten times more entertaining and honest and informative than a boring account of the bands that didn't use the phrase "ready brek glow" would be.
Yeah it's fun...
But i thought 'reviews' were supposed to be detailed accounts of a bands set, sound, atmosphere etc.
This touches on that in dribs and drabs but most of it is just waffle. It comes accross more like a blog or an article in a teenage magazine than what I think should be called 'The DiS Review'.
Please
never ever let Wendy Roby ever review anything ever again. 'we are dancing, iss sblurry brills, and I have already forgotten I have a house.'
Please just fuck off & write a crappy chicklit novel.
ARGH MY EYES
My only concern with this piece was reading 'listening to Edwyn Collins sound-checking triumphantly on the main stage' from day one, and thinking, Oh dear, this is a newspaper-review sentence Wendy Roby has gone jaded and started doing newspaper-words these are truly the last days.
Thankfuck she has not. Funny thing is, whenever I mention Roby's words to human people IRL, all their slavering tongues seem capable of spitting out is a heady combination of the words *hilarious*, *amazing*, *singles column*, and *I want to have her babies* (only some of this is true). I can only imagine the vituperative fingersniffers bored/boring enough to personally slag off writers for articles that most likely took a fair wodge of time to write are the same ones who generally neglect to leave the house, because THE WORLD IS BAD, MAN, and whose idea of an interesting evening is reading Rimbaud to oneself by candlelight and occasionally referring to the cliff notes.
I dunno, maybe it’s just an acquired taste.
@ommomy and daniel_challis I assumed that said relaying of slightly unhinged-sounding crew member’s story was not intended to be gospel, given the context. Also: *the septuagenarian blues mentalist rips off his t-shirt and chases Our Man out of the backstage area, brandishing his fists* = amazing, true or otherwise.
I may regret posting this.
jesus christ
Wendy is a successful freelancer who is quite capable of writing drier, more 'professional' things. Reviewing a festival is a totally subjective absurdity at the best of times (I went, and basically watched Suede, Deerhunter and a bunch of plays) - DiS has always opted for a diary entry style format for festival 'reviews' as saying 'give us 500 words and a mark out of 10' is just not going to lead to anything satisfying. If Wendy's style bothers you - and it's an awesome style - don't read her articles, if this isn't the Latitude write up you were looking for, head to the forums.
indeed,
but there is comments section on DiS for a reason. And i think the comment is valid.
It's waffle.
Calm
I wasn't having a pop at Wendy or anything, just wanted to share the real story before anybody got the wrong ideas about Steve. As anybody who has met him will attest, he's a nice guy. He's not the kind of artist that explodes at random stage crew for no reason. :)
of course, of course
but we're British aren't we? Can we do these things the old fashioned way, with false politeness and passive aggression?
I assume that reply was to me and not yourself :)
Indeed again. I'm as much for a 'diary style' as the next man. I just felt like this particular style was maybe a tad too heavy on anything but the music, and the silly speak i.e. 'iss blurry brills' just pushes it over the line.
I guess the bottom line is that a 'professional' review as you put it doesn't actually have to mean perfectly eloquent and ultimately BORING, just the same as that a more light hearted, fun review doesn't have to be quite so full of guff!
I hope that makes sense.
Oh and just to add one last thing...
To suggest that i should maybe head to the forum if i want to get a more in depth review of the festival, does that not suggest that if it's a review i'm looking for i'd be foolish to assume that the 'DiS Review' was the place to go?
no, of course not
I just meant that if you don't care for this, the discussion of Latitude on the forums can be whatever YOU want it to be...
Fuck the haters Wendy.
That is all.
Fucking hell...
There is having your opinion and just being downright nasty. I love writing for Drowned in Sound but the comments and vitriol being spouted by people of late is simply disgusting.
Wendy has her own style which is unique. I certainly can't write like that. If you don't like it, go elsewhere (as Andrzej points out) My take on reviewing festivals is that you should give some perspective on the atmosphere and mood of the festival. Which I think Wendy does well here. Do you REALLY need to know in minute detail what The Walkmen and Seasick Steve sound like? Or do you want a little insight on the vibe of a unique festival.
Everyone who writes for DiS is prepared to take a bit of criticism. It comes with the territory and we've got thick enough skins to take it. Some of those comments above however, are completely out of order and bordering on abuse.
Grow up.
Keyboard Warriors
Easy to be brave and abusive sat behind your PC. I'd love to meet some of these individuals face to face. Oh yes!
Nasty? Haters?
I do hope you weren't referring to anything i've said.
I in no way shape or form have claimed to 'hate' Wendy Roby, nor have i been 'nasty'.
I have done what it is obviously ok for Journalists to do on a daily basis which is express my opinion whether or not i like something.
I didn't care for this style or content of this review and so i clicked the handy 'comments' button and left an opinion.
You obviously love reading this article and get some form of pleasure from it and so then fair play to you. I didn't. And i didn't read it with the intention to dislike it!
I also didn't really get a 'feeling of the festival' from it because i found most of it just blabbering.
You seem to think my idea of what a review should be like would be this horribly stark, dead, dull, boring thing. It wouldn't be. It would be like reading a review by Andrzej or Dom Gourlay (Yes Dom i enjoy reading what you write). It doesn't have to be the epitome of SERIOUSNESS.
regarding the Keyboard Warriors comment, if Wendy Roby, You, or anyone showed me something i didn't like i would offer an opinion face to face, good or bad.
That 'Keyboard Warriors' comment works both ways as you lot are the ones publishing the reviews that either praise or slag off bands, yet i doubt you would feel too comfortable giving a band a slagging to thier face.
Hi Daniel
My Keyboard Warriors post wasn't aimed at you specifically, just at the negative tone in general of a lot of the comments currently appearing underneath reviews here. I accept none of us are anywhere near perfect, and sometimes we'll make the odd mistake grammatically or otherwise. I also accept that as we're criticising something, be it an album, show, event or artist, we have to expect a degree of criticism back in return.
What I can't accept are childish personal insults from people sat behind their keyboards who'd run a mile if confronted face to face in the street. As for criticising bands face to face, I've done plenty of that as a few people on here can vouch for!
Some of what you say is constructive, but at the same time Wendy is one of the most unique and innovative writers around today, not just on DiS but anywhere else I'd care to mention. Granted it isn't going to be to everyone's taste, but there's no way anyone should expect her to change either. I only wish I was half as talented!
Thanks for the reply Dom.
Talent/innovation wise, i wouldn't put yourself down!
I think for fear of going around in circles we may as well leave it there though.
Ready Brek Glow
Do me a favour, plug me into a Sega... she ain't gonna sleep with you
One of the most innovative writers around ANYWHERE?
I'm not a hater, Dom, but srsly...

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