Distophia

Tonight, Distophia are the best band on the planet.

Imagine a world where the words ‘post’ and ‘grunge’ were never even lumped in the same sentence together. Imagine a world where Puddle Of Mudd was something you stepped in by mistake after a few too many beers. Imagine a world which, Donnie Darko-style, reversed back in time, erasing nu metal, deleting Chad Kroeger and sending Fred Durst back to work as a grunt in the forces.

As far as Distophia are concerned, that world is now. Alongside bands like KaitO, Jetplane Landing and Sons & Daughters they’re one of the key figures in a new uprising of British rock music that will very soon decimate the need for us to look abroad for our thrills. Halle-fucking-lujah!

Far beyond even their recent mini-LP would suggest, Distophia live are a revelation. What really surprises is the amount of tunes that erupt from their cacophonic guitar onslaught. The blitzkrieg racket of ‘Joanne’ is introduced gleefully with the words, “You might have seen this one on the old MTV,” – uttered, endearingly, as if the very idea of such an event is beyond reason. Even within the squall of set closer, the crackingly-titled ‘What The MILF’, lies a beating heart of (scuffed-up) melody.

Among their number is also The Coolest Drummer Around TM (aka Tom Whitfield) whose brilliance at the kit is matched only by his aggravating penchant for appearing not to put any effort in whatsoever. He also managed to be quite funny despite clearly being wankered. Bastard!

Thanks to Distophia et al, 2004 is gonna be absolutely cracking. You have my sworn (drunken) oath. It’s time for nu metal to start digging its own cruddy grave. And about fucking time.