Coldplay

What ‘comedy’ cover version would Chris Martin burst into? Would Justin Timberlake turn up playing a kazoo? What the flying fuckmonkeys were Feeder doing supporting?

Just a few of many questions before Coldplay’s second sold-out stint at London enormodome Earls Court. Well, let DiS give you the answers: none (apart from something about bushy eyebrows), no, and no idea.

In the space of two albums and, well, like tons of gigs, they’ve gone from the shimmering Jeff Buckley wannabe anthems of ‘Shiver’ (not played tonight) to the big beastly rockathons such as ‘Politik’, which happens to be tonight’s opening tune. Bravo for that, says your weary DiS correspondent. ‘Politik’ is satisfyingly-bombastic and uplifiting. “Look at Earth from outer-space,” goes the first line, and “look at ants from the top of the Millennium Wheel,” the people in the back seats no doubt mumble (note: this venue sells binoculars).

Coldplay have always been in danger of turning into The Chris Martin Show. While he is less chatty onstage than in the past, he now appears to enjoy the crazy frontman role a lot more, and is very much the one in the constant limelight. But whatever may be said about how “boring” Coldplay are as far as their personality is concerned, people don’t like Coldplay because their singer’s knobbing an actress, they like Coldplay because of the music. Like, no shit.

Tunes full of catchy guitar hooks and singalong choruses (believe me, hearing that many people singing along to ‘Everything’s Not Lost’ is very special indeed) – there’s nothing particularly deep about their music, but it’s good enough to have touched the indie kid in the bedroom with the curtains closed, to the ‘Smash Hits’ reader who thinks Chris is a bit dishy, to the Radio 2 listeners and ‘Later’-watching musos. And there-be the reasons why Coldplay are absolutely massive and adored worldwide and the band you’re in is not.

Despite the amount of folk in the audience, it doesn’t feel like a massive gig… that is, until they play ‘Clocks’ and get the wannabe-Pink Floyd lasers out. But I’m sick of this tune. It won’t go away. Make it stop. Call me a soppy old sucker, but I still prefer ‘The Scientist’ and ‘In My Place’.

It’s nice to see the little indie boys have all grown up. We’re heading into stadium rock territory but – hey! – Muse have been wanting the same since day one and nobody seems to give them shit for it (well, not all the time anyway).

There’s been much mutual back-slapping recently between the two bands but, you know what? Perhaps Echo and the Bunnymen were ahead of their time after all.