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Jordan phones up Kevin
"Hello Kevins Phone".
"Hello Mr Phone".
can't murder people down a phone line either so there's no comeback
'Either is fine'.
"DOUBLE VODKA PLEASE!"
'It's a cheap round!!!'
people are literally falling about laughing
Had your ears lowered?
Had a fight with a lawnmower?
Sandra - "Whats your title, Jordan?"
Jordan - "Mr."
do it yourself?
getting a haircut later
The bloke who did that to your hair?
- "It's with an S."
I dyed the tips invisible
We say it's for a middle class child and serve it anyway.
"Apparently my timesheets are outstanding. I didn't think they were that good!"
used to work with someone who always used to tell this one girl 'we swapped shifts last week, you're not in today, remember?' and she'd fall for it everytime. also writing things like 'arseface' on the sign off sheet so when people went to sign off their tills they'd go 'are you arseface, then?' - classic.
hate when customers try to do bants cause it's nearly always abuse and never funny. we've got a regular that comes in and he's one of my favourite people in the world i think, he's got good craic and offers everyone a tunnocks caramel.
I've been making more effort to be conversational/polite with people working in retail. I've never been purposefully rude but it must be difficult dealing with people all day but never conversing with them.
When someone leaves at the end of the day then walks back to their desk as they forgot something.