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FLAT PACK ATTACK
*****It’s the thread we have ALL been waiting for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!****
This is YOUR space to share all things flat pack related!!!!
I can’t think of any activity that stresses, distresses and angers me more than self-assembling a piece of furniture.
Finished assembling a chest of drawers today (advised assembly time 2hours) in 3 hours 30ish minutes. Instructions said 2 people, I work SOLO, so that works out as 1 hour 45 mins. Yessssssss.
Had 16 draw runners to screw individually to the drawers. ‘How many draw runners?’ I hear you cry, yes, that’s right, you didn’t mishear me, it was 16.
It’s essentially giant LEGO/mechano that you can’t play with once assembled, you can just put things inside it or rest stuff on it (nothing too heavy).
TOP FLATPACK MANAFACTURERS
1) Sainsbury’s
2) IKEA
243) ARGOS
I would really love to meet the flat pack instruction writer/production manager at Sainsbury’s and shake his hand. He’s doing some very exciting things for the art, in my eyes. His instructions and design innovation is akin to that of Trevor Baylis, but instead of improving the lives of third world African families he’s reducing assembly time for lower middle class flat pack assemblers by approximately 10 - 20%.
FLAT PACK HEAVEN
Flat pack success stories? Yeah, I’ve got a few. Couple of bedside units I assembled one afternoon, it’s no thing. Tea, IPL, done in an hour and 30 mins, then of to work. Easy. TV unit, bookshelf etc
FLAT PACK HELL
The desk I assembled that the draw fronts fall off, impossible to work at that desk now as it has become a metaphor for my failings. This was ARGOS’ fault though, flawed design, awful.
Might go pro. Some people pay to have people assemble their furniture. They would have to be open to hearing a lot of swearing, at times a distressing amount.
GO!!!!!