Boards
''stories?...we all spend our lives telling them (bum...budda bum)
...about this about that (dum) about people (budda bum) but some...some stories are so good (bum,bum,bum,bum,bum,bum)we wished they'd never en...''
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF
that's it hoffman, it's over, fucking over man...a multi-millionaire and you're still sucking on murdoch's tailpipe to ACT your way through one of the most disgustingly rottenly earnest pieces of shitty pulp-slop that i've ever had to sit through twenty time during an NFL game. i'm taking back your oscars for kramer vs kramer and rain man and i'm taking back my goodwill towards your performances in the graduate and lenny and hook. hook was the first film i've saw at the cinema hoffman,and now you've just taken a big shit on me and my childhood.
look at you with your stupid meet-in-the-middle-but-somehow-keep-two-holes-at-the-corners-of-your-mouth-smile. i fucking hate that smile you rot. when you die dustin hoffman, and all the obituaries talk about how top an actor you were, and people say...'oooh...dustin hoffman is dead...remember all those films? remember all those good dustin hoffman films that we should buy now'.....you know what i'll say dustin hoffman? i'll not mention hook or the graduate...i'll not big you up for lenny...i'll just say on repeat...'wasn't he good in that sky advert?'.
'remember that sky advert he did? he was brilliant in that wasn't he? such a moving performance'
and that's all i will mention hoffman. your brilliant moving performance in that sky advert. and hopefully hoffman, by that point i'll be the editor of sight and sound or a film magazine of my own making....and for the obituary issue dustin hoffman, i will only allow staff to talk about that sky advert. we'll dedicate quite a few pages to your passing...but on every one will be a blow-by-blow account of your moving performance in that sky advert. that sky advert dustin hoffman. your one true legacy.
bye dustin hoffman.