Boards
Last night's Masterchef
In the first round we discover that men cannot cook fish, including one guy who's convinced he's great, and all the women go through to show what they can do in the pro kitchen. One of the women, Aliya, is clearly some sort of TERMINATOR of cookery, as evidenced by her continual scary eye 'flaring' and mechanised sound she makes when she moves her head. Okay, I made that last bit up but the 'flaring' was true and I supplied those noises myself.
She cuts through the pro kitchen like it's just so many members of the human resistance standing in the way of John Connor and then confuses the issue with her final meal, prompting Greg to simultaneously praise her food and claim it's not right. She kills the other two contestants and emerges victorious. She'll be back.
Round two sees a guy called Will who should really be wearing a short sleeved shirt and a bow-tie with hair and glasses like that. We don't find out his last name but it's probably Poindexter. Unfortunately he's a tailor so India constantly calling him 'Tailor, Will' sounds more like he's a transgender female country singer. Anyway, he is clearly outstanding as is the paediatrician and a girl who's just left uni and a bit unsure what to do with herself.
The pro kitchen is a surprise as paeds guy fucks it up a fair bit while unlucky girl show's she has skills. But she *is* unlucky girl because she's ended up in a round with Will and Paeds when really she needed a good solid base of cookery mongs to progress to the quater finals. Will and paeds BOTH go through (this changing up of the rules is getting a bit dull now, isn't it?) which means the battle for humanity with Aliya can only be a tough one...and we haven't even seen what tonight's will throw up.