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    Someone did that on the bus once. The toilet door kept slamming shut and creaking open over and over to add to the fact the entire bus smelled like piss and shit.

      • Take the National Express when your life's in a mess

        It'll make you smile
        All human life is here
        From the feeble old dear to the screaming child
        From the student who knows that to have one of those
        Would be suicide
        To the family man
        Manhandling the pram with paternal pride
        And everybody sings "ba ba ba da..."
        We're going where the air is free
        On the National Express there's a jolly hostess
        Selling crisps and tea
        She'll provide you with drinks and theatrical winks
        For a sky-high fee
        Mini-Skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle
        Back in '63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
        But it's hard to get by when your arse is the size
        Of a small country
        And everybody sings "ba ba ba da..."
        We're going where the air is free
        Tomorrow belongs to me
        When you're sad and feeling blue
        With nothing better to do
        Don't just sit there feeling stressed
        Take a trip on the National Express

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