Boards
There's an old man
He leaves his house feeling very chipper one day
Goes to the butchers...says "I'll have 2 fillet steaks but first watch THIS!"
he then does 20 push ups on the floor of the shop in rapid succession, jumps to his feet, claps and says, "How old juthink I aaaaaam?"
Butcher looks impressed...so do the other customers...
Butcher says,"I dunno - that's pretty impressive...73?"
"I'm 84 YEEARS OOOLD!" announces the man, beaming with pride.
Everyone's very impressed, he takes his steaks and leaves...next stop the bakers.
"A loaf of wholemeal please...but first 'ave a look at THIS" he blurts before repeating the act to a similar reaction..
"How hold juthink I aaaaam?" he asks
"Oh well..that was quite the athletic display." says the baker. "I peg you at 69 years or so.
"I'M 84 YEARS OOOOOOLD" boasts the old chap again before grabbing his bread and walking out whistling a jaunty tune.
On his way home, he encounters an old woman, walking frame et al waiting at the bus stop outside the hospital.
"Alright luv?" he says...
"'AVE LOOK AT THIS!"...again...the press ups, quick as lightning..
"HOW OLD JUTHINK I AAAAM?" he asks.
The old lady puts her hand down his pants and palpates his cock and balls for a good minute and a half, croakily umming and erring to herself...sniffing her hand...licking a finger at one point and generally looking really pensive and full of concentration.
"YER 84 YEARS OLD" she surmises
"HOW THE HELL CAN YOU TELL THAT?" he asks
"I was at the butchers"