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How I nearly got killed by an chainsaw weilding madman on my lunch break.
I work fairly near my flat. About a two minute walk in fact. Most days I go home at lunch time and have a small nap. Today however, I decided to go home, have a brew, and a cheeky smoke. About 50 minutes later I embarked on the short journey back to work.
Now the entrance to my flat lies down a darkish alley, around the back of a cafe, but its in a fairly nice area of Manchester, and I've never had any trouble nearby. I began walking down the alley, and was merrily listening to the Adam and Joe podcast and a little lost in my own thoughts. When I was about 5 feet from the end, a figure suddenly lurched around the corner. It was a guy, about 7 feet high, wearing a blue jumpsuit and a hockeymask. The scariest part was the chainsaw that he was waving about in front of him with a look of menace in his eyes.
Like a ninja I pounced out of his way, to my left, straight into a brick wall, whilst also making a wimpering sound. Glancing back at the man I realised that I had possibly sized him up wrong. He was about 5'7, he was wearing a dust mask, and he was actually carrying some electric hedge trimmers. He stopped and looked terribly amused by the whole thing (although it was difficult to tell because of the mask) and I half ran off, dying a little inside of embarrassment.
I didn't think much more about it untill sat at my desk, my brain collapsing with mind numbing boredom. I realised that there aren't any hedges to trim down that alley.......