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SPIDER!
I had an altercation with one the other night but it got away. I just saw it a moment ago, it ran out from behind my bookcase, saw me and then went back again. I'm scared of it, it's evil looking. I want to kill it but I'm too scared to pull back my bookcase in case it jumps out at me and rapes my face. My attempts to kill it by spraying it with deodorant the other day clearly failed. HALP