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shheeeiittt. They are making another karate kid!
Dear Putty. My name is Abeje Mazi, daughter of the late Dr. Madu Mazi of Nigeria. I am writing to you regarding a most urgent business transaction. My father is the wealthy owner of much land and many businesses, unfortunately my father was executed in 1999 by rebels for expressing his opinions on religion and becoming a devout Christian.
As well as all the businesses and land my father owned, he was also a share holder in the 1984 film that was directed by John G. Avildsen and written by Robert Mark, you may know this film as The Karate Kid.
Before my father was executed with three gunshot wounds to the head from a 7.62mm AK47 Kalashnikov automatic rifle, the one with a fold out shoulder rest and a 30 round detachable magazine box. he stated in his will that I should inherit his shares in the rights to this film.
Now in 2009 I have learned that a new sequel to this film has been made, and without my or my dead fathers permission! … now you must obviously see why I need your help.
Please help me, I am trying to raise $2000 USD so I can travel to Hollywood. Once in Hollywood I plan to brutally behead Harald Zwart, the director of the newest Karate Kid film. Once his head is adorning the pavement outside of his studio I plan to steal the papers that give him the right to produce this film.
So far there are four Karate Kid films, but once I have the rest of the paperwork and contracts I will be able to go back to my village, once there me and the villagers will star in and produce 26 more sequels. A total of 30 (the same age my father had the day he was executed)
Please contact me so we may arrange your donation, all I ask for is $20 USD. In return I will give you a 15% share in the soon to be made 26 Karate Kid films … and I promise not to behead you as part of a plan to get these shares back.
The original Karate Kid film made over $1.2 million dollars at the box office, this means we can earn $32,400,000.00 USD with the 26 all Nigerian Karate Kid films we plan on producing. Your shares will entitle you too $4,860,000.00 USD should you chose to send me the aforementioned $20 USD
Please look in to your heart, and find it within you to do the right thing. I await your reply. God bless you my child.
- Abeje Mazi.