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Cricket thread: ECB have a vacancy for head coach
England have no head coach. The England And Wales Cricket Board has advertised the vacancy on its website. Have a look here at the job description: http://www.ecb.co.uk/ecb/vacancies/ (click on current vacancies and then England Team Director. It's an interesting read, if you are feeling suicidal and need a little extra push to commit to the act.
Waffling gobbledygook that, if read by any of the potential candidates, would surely dissuade them from wanting the job. The job description is, both in style and in content, a seemingly endless list of excruciating management-speak, devoid of meaning, substance and information.
Here are some examples, plucked from the Principle Responsibilities section
"To work in partnership with the England Captain in order to create an environment in which players are empowered to prepare and perform to a ‘World Class’ standard on and off the field."
"To work closely with the England Captain on an on-going basis to ensure consistency of message from Team Director and Captain and provide leadership and direction to the England Players and Management Team in order to achieve the goals for each match and Series which have been set by the England Team Director in conjunction with the England Captain."
I'm not making this up. Those are exact quotes from the job description for the post of England coach, or Team Director as the ECB seems intent on calling the job. That is what people such as Geoff Lawson, Mickey Arthur and John Wright will read before they consider whether or not to apply for the post. One hopes that they don't read it. It would be sure to encourage them to definitely not apply. It is contentless drivel, punctuated by spurious and nonsensical phrases that display markedly the writer's limited command of the English language.
In addition to the assault from the gobblydegook, the job description informs the potential applicant that he will be working in a straightjacket; any useful ideas he may have are not needed; any intelligence or creativity is not needed. Conversely, "excellent media skills" are a requirement as are "excellent communication, interpersonal and influencing skills."
Some observers, for example, Shane Warne, doubt the necesity of a coach for an international cricket team but, if one accepts that such a role is required, then the purpose of the head coach is to make the players play better and to do so consistently. That's it. One sentence is all the job description reuired. How the objective is attained should be up to the coach. There is no need in the job description for daft phrases about "empowerment", "consistency of message", etc. and there is no need for the detail of operational requirements, such as compiling reports.
The job description is ridiculously long, pointlessly detailed, full of management-speak drivel and held together by poor English. It is appalling, and deeply depressing.
On a humourous note, the very first sentence is worth examining: "The vision of the England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) is to become and remain the most successful and respected cricket nation in the world." So, the ECB would like to become a nation?