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Write a letter that you'll never send
Dear Sam,
thanks so much for handing over half your workload at 3:30 on a friday afternoon because you have a "obscene headache" - what does that even mean?
You want me to get as much done before 5pm as I can? Awesome! Because I'm so totally motivated to do that right now.
You're a cunt.
Love
Roastthemonaspit