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Secret Episode 24 of LOST Season 3 - script
[stranded on an island]
Jack: "Hey Kate, how are you"
Kate: "I'm fine. Why does your facial hair keep altering in length?"
Jack: "I can't find the charger for my beard trimmer!"
Kate: "But then how are your...erm...special hairs so well trimmed?"
Jack: "Crabs!"
Kate: "Crabs?"
Jack: "Yeah! Crab claws! I found them in the belly of that whale over there!"
Kate: "Jack, that's Hurley."
Sawyer: "Have either of you seen my saloon? I've been building it all day."
Kate: "Sorry Sawyer, Saeed misread the plans and built you a salon! He's cutting Ben's hair now!"
[in island salon]
Ben: "Ouch! You just cut my ear off!"
*laughter*
Saeed: "Oh Ben, I am sorry. It's because I hate you!"
Ben: "Oh well! You win some you lose some!"
[next to a sandwich]
Juliet: "I'm hungry!"
[at the bottom of the sea]
Charlie: "I wish my name was Sebastian, like the crab. Rather than Sebastian, like the Coe."
Desmond: "I wish I was actually Desmond Dekker, brother."
Charlie: "At least I can pronounce it. And I'm not your fucking brother."
Desmond: "Mint"
Some other stuff happens too. It's really good. I'll lend you all the laserdisc when I've finished with it.