Boards
why funkadelic are the best band ever
'Mothership Connection brought us Starchild, a divine being who came down from the Mothership to bring Funk to earthlings. It was revealed on The Clones of Dr. Funkenstein that Starchild was the agent of Dr. Funkenstein, mastermind of outer space funk. The secrets of funk were laid in the pyramids, because humanity wasn't ready for it...until now. Dr. Funkenstein is creating Clones known as the Children of Productions who will go out and make sure everything is on the One. Dr. Funkenstein can fix all of man's ills, because the bigger the headache, the bigger the pill; and he's the big pill.
Starchild would not be unopposed, however. On Funkentelechy Vs The Placebo Syndrome, Starchild's arch-enemy Sir Nose D'Voidoffunk is unleashed. Inspired by the Pinocchio Theory of Bootsy's Rubber Band ("If you fake the funk, your nose will grow"), Sir Nose is driven to stop the funk. He's too cool to dance; he represents the Placebo Syndrome, which causes people to stop thinking and stop dancing. He wants to put your mind to sleep and extend the reach of the Zone of Zero Funkativity. Starchild is ready for him, having been given the Bop Gun by Dr. Funkenstein. He is ready to strive for Funkentelechy for all. This literally means "the actualization of funk rather than its potential"; in other words, that everyone has the funk in them, they just have to realize it and reach for it. Using the Flash Light on the Bop Gun, Starchild zaps the Nose and makes him dance. He finds the Funk and goes crazy, and everyone dances away into the night.
But it can't last long. Sir Nose returns with an ally, Rumpofsteelskin. This time the battle rages underwater, on Motor Booty Affair. The unfunky Nose is too cool to swim or dance, but with the help of Mr. Wiggles and the denizens of Atlantis (where you can swim underwater and not get wet), they make Nose dance the Aqua Boogie. Sir Nose tries again on Gloryhallastoopid, but he's undone by the Big Bang Theory: Funk set the whole universe in motion. He pops up one last time on Trombipulation, tracing his ancestors (Cro-Nasal Sapiens) back to the pyramids and understands his own funky heritage. His offspring, Sir Nose, Jr, promises to be funky forevermore.'