neither is a perfectly acceptable reponse but anyone that says parsons gets a cork in the ear 'ole.
if anyone is feeling a bit low, give this a gander and usher the evening in with a chuckle
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/columnists/parsons/
this is my fave line (although it might change)
'Alan Mains, a policeman who oversaw a successful anti-knife campaign, says that young offenders are not worried about doing hard time.Which made me wonder. What about the death penalty? Do you think they might be worried about that?'
i like to imagine this was finished with an earnest fist thumped against a swish mahogany desk, and then a burst on the jogger to calm down.
* faveourite
comment
boff
you're a lovely ticker
It just wasn't meant to be.
Shame...I thought it was a doozy.
Dave Dee, Doozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich
when i was nine i was forced to arm wrestle on stage in titch's bar in spain. i won against a poor slip of a lad, which would have been enough to make a boy proud but it all felt so exploitative.
i swear this is true
lol
I was made to watch my Dad 'tranny up''.
That was burnt into my retina.
shit son
crappy yet memorable mass family holidays to spain/majorca/teneriffe etc etc
the best of times..the worst of times
I thought they were pure, leather-skinned hell.
i dunno
weve got a few corking tales that always do the rounds when mum gets a bit tipsy with 'auntie' sue.
like when i was seven and got set upon by a ferocious pack of feral spanish youths whilst dawdling in a hypermarket. scrappy little sods they were...i was trying to explain queensbury rules when one little runt had already scraped all the skin off my shin.
you need these memories boyo.
Ben used to humiliate me to impress groups of British 18-20 year olds.
He once pinned me down and tied the toggles on my swimming trunks to my ears.
i got suckered into joining
one of those kids fun group things once.
we put on a production and i had to dress up as one of the severn dwarfs and swarm around the stage in a januty manner.
no support from my crowd. just pointing and laughing. pointing and laughing.
I got the same treatment...
...when Ben told the older lads/ladettes that I was still being breast-fed at 7 years old.
i once played a game of pool
with a boy and the winner won the hand of a charming young northern lass called stephanie.
i tried to channel the spirit of fast eddie but lost and cried all the way back to the hotel.
lol
It's been the same ever since.
I once shat in the pool. That was the one and only time for me.
i once buried
my pants in the sand when we went to walton-on-the-naze and they were never seen again
my only faecal related
story was when i got an amazing replica dog turn from a dusty joke shop in blackpool and then fetishised the striking craftsmenship for the rest of the weekend
Myne never comes out in a smart little curl-whip.
thats it for
my troubled childhood on family holidays.
time to leave when it gets to 'curl-whip'.
we did good. this thread was so nearly a non-starter
see you, boy'o////