on returns to supplier."

I didn't understand it.

anyone mind if i turn the air conditioning up in here?"

"yes i do you sweaty fat pig"

by the horrendous morbidly obese fiend woman in front of me.

"Here's the weather according to the BBC!"

"No it fucking didn't"
"Yes it did"
"Well phone injurylawyers4U then, you muppet"

Fortunately this was relating to disposal of documents rather than 1980s guitar solos.

"I didn't realise there were people still down there in Life In The UK and we're talking about people shitting on each other"

"the burger ones are fine"

"Umm yeah, that's 3.165."

A phonecall overheard.

.

"Iam trying to work out why one line is bigger than the other."
"Its good design."
"Looks shit if you ask me."

"no, no i havent"

"there's two honour killings. those are good."

(in reference to Tunnock's tea cakes). I concurred.

"I shouted 'ere mate, you need a booster cushion, you're too small to drive a full sized car around, you need your car remodifying' through his driver's side window"

when I have no idea what he is on about'

I feel today is going to be the day I walk out.

I'm not back in there until 9 tomorrow morning, are you ok to wait?

"I don't know"

Yeah I think the dishwasher's broken

Me, to a colleague five seconds ago. She hasn't responded yet but her silence speaks volumes.

"there's no others in there?"

Overheard phonecall

"I can't smell"

alone.

we would be grateful for your confirmation of the same. New paragraph.

Booooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiing

"She keeps going on about her daughter getting raped - don't wanna hear it!"

..
..

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus, he's one of the worst candidates I've ever interviewed"

shall i kill him?!

"no wait... leprechauns speak in riddles don't they"

*fumbles for keys to the office we share*

*eventually puts key in lock*

*realises that office is open anyway and that I am in it, waving at him through the GLASS DOOR*

'oh. You're in. Right.'

but i spoke to the receptionist after my appointment - just asked "how are you?"

the reply: "a bit moist"

in the hair dye isle."

a buy one get one free there"

Referring to an asylum seeker who smuggled himself here to be with his wife, only for the Home Office to demand he goes back to London.

..and somebody used the phrase:

'I disagree with dignity in the workplace, personally'

...does it start in January or last July?"

much quieter than yester...FUCK...hello your through to mike how can i help?