for hours - every party

OH WAIT, i have a teenage brother! i'm so going to make him take me to one.

when i was about 12 - parents were away and i ran off to my sisters.

apparently loads of people had sex in my bed.

brushed our teeth with loofers and then found my dog had actually eaten the remains of a hash yoghurt so i spent the rest of the night hugging her asking her not to die.

they usually involve a lot of sitting around, not playing music, drinking, feeling ill then leaving.

THREE of the BIGGEST parties my year had. total house wreckers i heard. i live a short bus ride and a long walk from everyone else you see.

of magic mushrooms.

Great times.

I'll wait for toomanykooks or matthewcargill to appear online and let them do the honours.

Remember going to one when we were about fourteen. We turned up late to everyone having a waterfight outside. There was literally no-one left in the house and the place was packed with booze. We stole it all, casually taking it out via the back. One of us lived in the house that backed onto it so we just lifted the fence panel. It was a pretty bad thing to do but they were muppets so we thought of it as fair game. We sat up in the outhouse all night getting the most drunk i thought i'd ever get.

i invited about 50 friends over to get a bit lairy.
gradually the number of kids escalated and at two my mum had to chuck the 150 odd friends out while i lay on the floor singing spank rock 'put that pussy on me'.
i shall never drink absinthe again.

i was chatting to these two girls, her friends, and they were asking about porno's as they'd never seen a porno mag before (i was 18 they were 16). So i went and got a porno out of my room and sat on the stairs with it on my lap as they flicked through it. I was getting hot and surprisingly so were both of them. Somehow, the blonde with the bigger tits was the one who led me to my bedroom, only to have to go ask someone for a condom. Dave was a bit slow and had a stutter and as i was coming back downstairs i heard him try to say "oo.oo.oo.ooo.ponly if you use it on me" which i don't know how that would work. Anyway, about 6 people walked in at various points shouting "oh my god they actually are doing it" and other things. It was a very fun time and my sister, somehow, didnt find out about it for a good few months, and by then i was at Uni and well away from her being angry about me sleeping with one of her best mates.

used to have a party at least once a month as, for some reason, his mum went away for the weekend.

We used to do things like fill his mum's hats full of water to see which was most watertight and recline his reclining chairs so fast that you went off backwards and turn his stereo up so loud that the speakers would vibrate themselves off their shelves.

Great fun, once a girl called Sophie Taylor said she liked me and she was superhot but then it turned out she was drunk and in fact she had meant the opposite.

when I was 16, however it was a bit lame because I didn't really have any friends. I did cop off with someone behind the garden shed though.

The ones I went at college all involved vodka, sluttish behaviour and make up on boys, because we were manics fans.

The ones I went to in my late teens involved hookah pipes and home made 100% proof alcohol.

and the house got totally trashed. At some point in the night my friend got a bit hungry and decided to make scrambled eggs in the microwave, he was drunk, he basically threw eggs into the microwave along with digestive biscuits and other stuff and then just forgot about it.
A week later I went back to help with the tidying up (because I'm a nice person) and I opened the microwave to cook something only to be hit by the rancid stench of week old rotten eggs. NOT GOOD.

Still, good party though.

for some reason they all involve whipped cream. no very good long stories, just stuff like people being sick out of top floor tenements. one of the best times was when everyone was completely fucked at my friends party and someone was lying next to their (bright pink) sick in the close all night, next to someone lying on the stairs with her dress over her head. anyway, one of the neighbours called an ambulance, and when it showed up, there was nobody to get in it. my sister and her boyfriend actually got together when they had to take a guy to hospital because he'd drank a litre of vodka. i love teenage parties. i'm going to make friends with some 15 year olds.

but highlights throughout those years definitely included accidently pulling a large curtain hook thing out of the wall and taking a chunk of wall with it and then wandering around the next morning in sunglasses professing to be Lou Reed (I was a 17 year old girl) hiding under a table drinking everyone elses alcohol, pretending to be asleep in my friends bed to stop her having sex with a boy i liked , calling an ambulance for a then-boyfriend which eventually resulted in his detention at her majesty's pleasure, sitting in the bath with my friend drinking far too much vodka to escape my best friend's projectile vomit..general nudity..good times

so we put every type of food that we could find in the microwave, and topped it off by pouring beer all over it. We put it on 'high' for three minutes. When it dinged, he opened it, and the smell made him vomit on his own floor. Good times.

with the bathroom door will always stick in my mind. People having races out of the bathroom windown, along the back roof and into another bedroom window was fun too. Me falling out of the loft at the same party was also a point of frivolity.

The parents of the kid who's party it was cancelled Christmas that year, such was the state of disrepair his house was left in.

All the girls got topless and started making out in the pool. Then they guys started getting with one another and then everyone was just kissing each other in a cider fuelled frenzy.

it landed on our neighbor's dog below us. She discovered this the next morning, accusing one of us of throwing up allover her dog.

Everyone always had sex in my bed. Except for me. sigh.

My mate was messing around on a wheeely chair, someone pushed him across the room on it, he flew out the room, onto the landing, down an entire flight of stairs. and got concussion.

Generally i would have work the next day (sunday book shop jobby) I'd leave everyone passed out on my various floors, head to work. And then sporadically throw up behind the order collection desk into a plastic blackwell's bag.

Funtimes.

consisted of me and my friends playing Goldeneye and getting stoned. "Wooo".

and kissed a girl.
then her boyfriend showed up.
i thought i'd get punched in the face, but thankfully i didn't.
hilariously, he looked quite a lot like me.

and at some ice cream and then threw up in a wheelie bin. then my girlfriend broke up with me and i had to walk for several miles through the bedfordshire countryside to flitwick to get a train home, except there wasn't a train for about two hours and when it did turn up everyone on it was passed out. i distinctly remember having to stop over someone's face.

being a teenager was shit.

THEN EVERYBODY GOT NAKED AND HAD SEX WITH EACH OTHER LOL!

socially gifted.

house partys when you are young are great, except for the next morning. whole load of regret.