when you are discussing a film/tv programme that you know the other person hasnt seen, but they are pretending they have as it would be uncool not to have seen it e.g. with me at school it was southpark, say what about the bit where blah blah (something that doesnt happen in the film or whatever) then when they agree say that didnt happen. makes em feel like a twat.
© DrownedinSound.com | From the Archive - DiS Recommends: The best of February 2006
Wait until they're not paying attention during assembly
and then tell them they've won a prize and have to go up to the front.
please tell me you've done this
and it worked :)
:D
It happened to a friend of mine.
I watched the whole thing from across the hall, it was incredible.
thats the best thing I ever heard
flick flob onto their back
hahaha i used to do that to my sister
but with songs. it was a right lol.
my brother convinced my little sister that the most popular music artist was 'quackyman'
who was a duck type creature. eventually he managed to make he agree that he was her favourite pop star :D
haha thats excellent
i once convimced my little brother that Ronald McDonald was the footballer Ronaldo's brother and that his full name was in fact Ronaldo McDonaldo
amazing!
:D
ronaldo mcdonaldo :D
i also liked to tell him that there was a hole in his ears
obviously everyone has a hole in their ears but he was so young that he didnt understand and he would really freak out and start to cry. LOL
Playing the 'opposite game'
where you had the answer the question with the opposite answer.
'Are you gay? We are playing the opposite game'
'yes'
'Agggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!'
'Are you gay? We're NOT playing the opposite game'
'no'
'aggggggggggggghhhhhhhh!'
when i was about 7 or 8
my mum told me a virgin was someone who hadnt had a baby so i used to ask boys 'are you a virgin?' and they didnt know what it was so they would be all like 'uuuhh no' and id be shouting 'ERRRRR YOU HAVE HAD A BABY!' thinking i was well funny. jokes on me though because mummy lied.
^ a lesson in the dangers of hubris.
In my school (I remember it from being around 7, 8 too) there were always those little gangs going 'round asking younger kids if they were virgins or not (then doing the ergh you've had sex/WAH you've not had sex thing).
In retrospect, not only was the act of going round asking little kids about their virginity REALLY creepy, but also, it's rubbish as a trap question: because anyone -not- a virgin at that age had probably had a visit from a Bad Uncle, surely?
they didnt know what a virgin was though!
at school if anyone ever asked you if you are something, it was safest to just say 'no'. this is the exception.
I used to say to people "are you a homo?"
if "no" I would reply "aaaah! you're not a homo-sapiens! You're not human! aaaah!"
If "yes" I would reply "aaaaaaaaaaah! GAY!" and run away
tell them
it's non uniform day and watch the laughter roll in when they turn up the next day and everyon thinks they're a twat for being the only one not wearing uniform.
I did that to a temp last year
I also failed to mention to two temps that it was dress down day. That wasn't so funny but it made me chortle.
haha brilliant
i remember there was a jeans for genes day thing, and peopple told one kid you were just allowed to wear jeans but had to wear school uniform on the top half. he looked so stupid
That's actually what you're meant to do.
I mean, companies make it 'dress down' but the notion is that you wear everything you normally wear except you put a pair of jeans on.
doesnt that just look really silly?
this was made worse by the fact the school uniform consisted of bright red jumpers, and he was wearing light blue jeans
Sounds like Neil Buchanon
draw a penis on a chair
and push the chair under the desk so someone, hopefully a boy, unwittingly sits on PENIS CHAIR
nobody wanted to sit on penis chair
:)
Throw their bag out of the window
is that funny? I certainly seemed to get a lot of laughs out of it.
train tracks is funnier
Well now its looking at how shit they look on Facebook
and seeing they have crap jobs and probably live in shit houses in deadsville always makes me laugh
yeah thats funny
Publish an insulting newsletter about them
wow.
You're so Regina in Mean Girls.
The only thing saving me from
crippling emasculation right now is that I have no idea what that is a reference to.
you are basically her:
http://www.allmoviewalls.com/pics/Mean-Girls_02_1024.jpg
Er, I have a face like an underfed toad now
:(
martbowski
did a website dedicated to insulting everyone in his school.
:D
That sounds like the type of thing I would have done... well not EVERYONE in school. I DID get suspended for publishing an insulting newsletter though and I DID set up a 'shrine' to another classmate of mine but in a way that did in fairness verge on bullying.
you're weird.
I don't do it any more!
And besides, if anything you're more weird for NOT doing it. Everything I do is always objectively not weird. I'm like Pocketmouse.
remember that time you said you liked
"pitchfork's early work" ?
we started a website
like that a our school. When we ran out of people we started turning on each other and a perhaps inevitably arguments replaced laughter.
Still.. damn good whilst it lasted
I riffed on that
by deliberately using the music page in the newsletter to slag off Lo Fidelity Allstars just to wind up a cheating ex-girlfriend. YES.
Asking people if they're an 'ABC'
and if they said yes you'd say 'haha you're an African Bum Cleaner' but if they said no you'd say, 'oh, you're not an Ace Brilliant Child then'.
we had 'form Big Brother'
in which we all nominated people for 'eviction' - ie. banning them from the form room at break times for however long we wanted to. We evicted two people before we were ordered to stop it.
Brilliant!
I also liked that thing alcxxk posted once
about asking people if they're a bummer tied up, and if they say no then you get to shout BUMMER ON THE LOOSE!
This thread is quite funny
I just took it as a given that anybody with more than 1,000 posts to their name was bullied at school, it turns out you were in fact the bullies.
nah i was the unpopular one
you just had to rely on this kind of thing to survive, maintain some sort of self confidence. like how the unpopular kids wouldnt stick together, first sign of someone popular approving of them being a dick to another unpopular kid they would milk it for all its worth.
That story about the Bebo kid suicide
actually made me think of you.
:(
It's okay Jack
Kids can be cruel ({)
did it really make you think of me?
lol
We used to do the old
classic of finding a bag someone had stupidly left unattended and filling it with as much stuff as possible such as paint brushes, bits of wood, soldering irons etc. The pinnacle was when one day 4 of us lifted a huge anvil (much like the ones in Roadrunner) and managed to just fit it into someones bag. They unwittingly went to lift their bag up and the straps came away completely.
Grrr great days.
additional unattended bag pranks:
take everything out of bag, turn bag inside out, put stuff back into bag, zip said bag back up, leave where bag was found. much irritation ensues. this process has been sensitively named "cancering" by my estimable pals.
good work
I was also fond of hiding someones bag in another persons bag. You could get quite a few in a russian doll hidden bag prank style.
We had black blazers at my old high school
So people used to nick chalk from classrooms and draw cocks on each other. The ones with the cocks drawn on them would get in trouble for it though.
It was funny as long as it wasn't you with the cock on your back.
Also
Unclipping girl's bras.
Everyone must have done this at some point (unless they're a girl).
*especially
alan partridge
:D
also:
attacking people with blackboard dusters
this is pretty catholic, but it was funny in primary school:
before r.e. one day, we told a boy that a prostitute was someone who wasn't catholic and a virgin was someone who wasn't baptised. OH THE LOLS!
then in high school, the same boy thought heterosexual = gay. we spent a whole class going "come on, be heterosexual. it's fun" until he shouted out "WILL YOU SHUT UP! I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER BE HETEROSEXUAL!" i think he was about fourteen at this time and should've known, so it was pretty hilarious :D
bunch of people standing around laughing
victim approaches...
"Whats so funny?"
"Genital thrush! Do you get it?"
Victim reply 1: "haha yeah"
- "LOL you have genital thrush"
Victim reply 2: "what? no"
- "LOL U R stoopid you don't get it"
simple but effective.
Well weird you should say this!
My brothers and me were talking about this about a day ago. We'd both done it, but I'd done it better.
Thing is, when it came to me saying the "that didn't happen bit", I couldn't do it. I couldn't stand there and let poor Bobby Bullshit be destroyed by my evil.
So TimTheEnchanterer did it and the guy almost cried :( (circa year 10).
haha :)
what was it that he had lied about?
We both stringed him on about this mission on Vice City.
"Have you done the one where you've got to pick up that huge fat prostitute?"
"Yeah that was brilliant!"
"Wasn't it hard though? Its annoying how she has that bomb and if you smash into any walls or cars it can blow up at any time."
"I spose. To be honest though I just cruised through it fairly easy. Weren't it funny all the things she says to you though, when she's in the back?"
"Yeah hilarious."
etc. etc. for about 12 minutes (and also including another made up mission about finding a hot air balloon)
"Oh erm... by the way Kieran. Those missions we were just talking about. They were all complete lies made up by us as we went along. Explain yourself."
One of the funniest, most painful moments of my life.
amazing
congratulations
also when people claimed it did happen
or that they got mixed up with another episode. made it even worse
We used to stick post-it notes or taped-paper to people's backs.
Our messages were always really good though, as opposed to just "I suck dick" etc.
Like on fat people, we'd put "<--- WIDE LOAD --->" and on very stupid people we'd put "Respect My Special Needs" or "Moron".
Anything sexual was always subtle. "Gently stroke my inner thigh." "Grasp my testicles with joy" etc.
"grasp my testicles with joy"
:D
unintentional, but
when we were young'uns in our hilariously bad covers band (all 14-year-old girls, so this was yr9) we played Stay Beautiful at some kind of crap variety shows (mainly comprised of chavvy girls doing dance routines to steps, i kid you not) and some of the particularly intelligent ones realised that the string-bendy bit should have "fuck off" in it, subsequently they yelled it at the appropriate times and got suspended for two days.
fucking brilliant!
There was this guy who would always agree with what you said
even when he was lying. So, one day, I said to him in a conpiratorial tone of voice, "do you walk on your feet in public, but on your hands in private" and he was like "yes" and I was like "nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr spaaaaaaaazmoooo!"
.
Push them on the floor and don't let them get up again. Oh the pure, simple cruelty of children.
.
a boy on my bus once asked me if i liked baby-bell cheese. not liking cheese at the time i said no but didn't completely understand. i hate him
,
he was talking about babies willies
thanks for clearing that up
Wait for victim to move away from desk.
Put hand down trousers.
Grab handful of pubes.
Open handful of pubes over open school book.
Close book.
Wait.
Then "lol".
nice
pulling peoples p.e. shorts down was good fun too
lol
http://bebo.com/watch/3652934927
ah thats classic old school trix
see also: giving people such violent wedgies that their underwear ripped
i went through a stage at 14 or 15 for a couple of weeks
of putting pubes on peoples exam papers then loving it when they shouted "ERGH" and got told off for making noise in a silent exam
i spat in a guy's hair once
in my defence, i was drunk.
Throwing chalk board erasers
at people's backs (we all wore dark blue or black jumpers) so nearly everyone would have a nice white oblong imprint on their clothes at the end of the day.
we did something similar to
a kid at school by singing a song from 'not the nine o'clock' news to him (it was 'nice video shame about the song' for anyone interested) and told him it was number 1 in the charts, and he believed us, what a FOOL!