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TV adverts that make you want to vomit

Sky Plus's attempt to explain stuff to old people with boring/cringeworthy celebrities talking shit.
Nutrigrain Bars cakey bakey cuntness.
MacDonalds stupid voice one.



  • RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

    FUCKING CAKEY BAKE!

  • WOKE UP THIS MORNIN FEELIN FINE

    HERE'S A CURRENT ACCOUNT THAT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND

    • Fucking hell this x A MILLION

      It's just stupidly stupidly annoying.

    • that's one of my favourites

    • Awful.

      And it's had possibly the longest run for an advert ever, which is just torture.

      • We'll give you extra like you knew we would

        something tells me i'm into something good

        • Cue twat on surfboard.

          • That advert should totally switch to Apocalypse Now mode

            at that point, and napalm all the chumps on the beach.

    • well give give youf fifty times more than the other could

      tell me tell me where into something good

  • all twee by numbers mobile phone ads

    fuck off already!

  • MOOOO-OOOON PIG!

  • Any L'Oreal one

    around the bit where they say 'because you're worth it'

    And I have dim memories of a Gold Blend advert years ago which involved a really cheesy marriage proposal at a dinner party or something (hardly narrows it down I know), it was like saccharine central....

    • that Loreal one with Pierce Brosnan

      where he says something like this, completely without humour

      "in between all my film roles, charity work and saving the environment, how do i find the time to look this good?"

      jesus wept

      • Yeah the two male ones

        with Pierce Brosnan and Matthew Fox from Lost manage to be especially awful

      • I get wound up by 'the science bit'

        in those types of adverts. It's like 'ooo, we've drawn some wiggly lines on a womans face with a computer. Now when she applies the cream - the lines straighten out!'

        WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT PROVE YOU BUNCH OF CUNTS!!!! That you can draw wiggly lines and straight ones on a computer! Fuck off you patronising bellends!

        I also find it annoying the way they give chemicals names that sound alluring, like 'smoothium' or 'regenerist' and shit like that, when you know it's just called 2-x-hydropythylaminate-oxide-3-laminaa or some shit.

        Fucking wankers.

  • that Cantona one in the breaks of the game tonight pissed me off

    just because i used to idolize him in the early to mid-90s and now seeing him reduced to this makes me die a little inside

  • lick the lid of life

    i wanna puke all over that decrepit old man's face.

    • all of them

    • oh yeah, that too

      muller adverts are shit. the one with the cup phone thing and the woman broadcasting out to all mums or whatever.

      • i haven't seen that one thank god

        i just hate the way his dentures become 3D when he's saying it so i feel like he's about to leap out of the telly ring-style and cover me in muller and lick me senseless.
        oh and those iceland adverts can fuck off an' all.

  • Iveco.

    Thump thump thump LORRY thump thump thump RUGBY MEN thump thu... arrrrgh! *mute*

  • ee passez to fabregas oo eez playing the geetar

    and they all drink pepsi max.

    although Frank Lampard dressed up like an old chinese man saves it slightly.

    • "...and then the classic: AHHH"

      Piss off, Pepsi.

      • On a football planet

        i wish you were on mars you fuckers...then you'd be dead like in Total Recall you media fucks

  • All of them.

  • I hate any that imply

    that only mums do any food shopping/housework/childcare. Iceland springs to mind - mums go to Iceland? The only time my mum ever goes to the supermarket is when my dad is out of the country or in hospital.

    L'Oreal, Neutrogena (why do the girls have orange faces?), those ice cream ones with that woman out of Desperate Housewives, and any with women talking about about constipation or feeling bloated.

    • cos girls rule the (advertising) world

      see also: those adverts where women perv on hot men and touch them up

    • Grrrrr...Neutrogena

      Girl with totally immaculate complexion: "Oh no! A spot!

      I cast a plauge of hideous boils upon her. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

  • Oh yeah

    Any with really lazy gender stereotypes: women go shopping, hate football, men are lazy gits, sit around watching football

    And those Dove - Campaign for Real Beauty - I know it has good intentions but something about it irritates me.

  • bingo

    adverts :-(

  • All of them

    no. really.

    • ^ This, basically

      I never watch them with the sound on anymore.

      • I have to mute them or I just start getting wound up

  • The Orbit chewing gum one.

    "How can you fight something you can't see?" or something like that? Hateful, hateful wacky cunts.

  • The sky ones are

    ..uh, interesting. The billboards, anyway.

    "You can record an entire series at the touch of a button."

    ..SAYS MICHEAL PARKINSON.

    • "I don't know how I lived without it!"

    • it's Sir Michael Parkinson now

      bitches

  • any with a group of people doing something wacky

    like having a giant picnic on a giant blanket in a giant field
    or sending a 'rainbow' across a city
    or building a car out of jigsaw pieces
    or FUCK OFF

  • "The more we get together the happier we'll be"

    AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHH

    No, I don't want to 'get together' with any of these folk-music lovin', short sleeve shirt wearin', quorn eatin', ringtone downloadin' cretins.

  • ive got a real problem

    with those andrex adverts with the talking puppy. i dont understand why the puppy is given the voice of an annoying camp man. its like something off a carry on film.

    i also really hate that stupid weight watchers advert with the badly rhyming song

    • "FUNKY! MONKEY!

      I used to be a lil' bit chunky"

    • ^This^

      When she says about her jeans fitting her "booty" I want to hurl things at things.

  • I hate any advert with talking dogs in it

    Especially how they've turned the Andrex puppy into this ridiculously camp animal who says annoying shit like "ooooh hello! What's this then?" when it's quite OBVIOUS for all to see that it's fucking Andrex toilet roll.
    My housemate always laughs at me when I watch adverts because if one comes on that particularly disgruntles me I just sit shaking my head in silent protest.

    NO MORE TALKING GAY ANIMALS OF ANY DESCRIPTION PLEASE

    • But what about SINGING dogs?

      You gotta love the VW Polo ad with the singing dog "I'm a mannnnn, yes I am, and I can't help but love you sooooo".

      • Which has now been banned

        :(

        That advert was the shizz

    • haha

      always shakin' that head like a nodding dog

      i also hate that advert with the chinese boy on the toilet who has done a shit and it really stinks but he has run out of air freshner

  • "You've got to aaaaaacc-eeeen-tuate the positive"

    the song of the n-power ad haunts me.

  • the CarpetRight advert with Toby

    from Hollyoaks on...haha, jeesus!!

  • Drumming Gorilla

    Racing airport trucks. Anything by that cunty advertising company thats so 'cutting edge'

    Also the Bercocca advert, where some soulless advertising gonk managed to pick up a fat cheque for shamelessly copying that OK GO video.

    Everyone in advertising is a cunt. You earn a living by tricking stupid people into buying things. Go and set fire to yourselves.

    • ^ You know...you know

      Seeing as you've already listed what I already hate, I feel I must add the addition of the new Slim Fast advert.
      As soon as I hear that Ronson-esque cheeky-funk bile of a song come on I have to suffocate myself with cushions.

      • Ronson

        I think he may be the anti-christ.

        It just makes sense.

  • THE FOXY BINGO FOX GUY

    utterly terrifying.

    • scares the shit out of me

      if a fox walked into my house dressed like that i'd take my machette to it

      • I hope you keep it handy

        the machete, not the fox

    • hahaha

      yeah that is pretty creepy.

  • Cornhill Finance

    THe ginger scottish kid who looks about 21, and had wraked up Thousands of pound in debt and still looks poor. Probably spent it all trying to get girls to talk to him.

    And then the family who were in debt, then got Cornhill to consolidate there debts so they could.....go on Holiday, and get a fuckin' TV!!!!! How about you try and pay off you debts and live within you means.

  • that Lynx advert

    with the cunty couple rolling around all over each other is fucking annoying but the Halifax adverts are on a whole different level of cuntiness.

  • Any confused.com advert

    seriously, do they breed these super-ugly people on some sort of ugly farm? Surely there must be at least some half-attractive people they could get for the same price? You know, tv-ugly, not ugly-ugly.

  • SLIMFAST - SLIM HAPPY

    Fruity, tootie, now my jeans fit my booty.
    Gooey, heaven, yummy food 24/7.
    Tick, tock, smoothies and shakes totally rock.
    Walking, tall, i like that mirror on the wall.
    Funky, monkey, gimme a chocolate bar that's chunky.
    Oi, boy, losing weight i can enjoy.

    Slim happy all the way.

    • "Gooey heaven, 24/7?"

      That'd be why you struggle to control your weight then.

      • exactly

        you may like the mirror on the wall, but jesus, it really doesnt like you

    • ^ this so, so much

      Who the hell wrote that?

      "oi, boy, losing weight I can enjoy"

      What the fuck?

  • That Audi one

    were they have loads of ponces in grey leotards representing the parts of the engine. I don't care if it's fantastic choreography, it's pretentious and shit.

  • The Vileda one that comes on before House.

    "We love clean!"

    Really? Then why let a man in practically a full body cast walk around with cups of tea/pot pourri/ plates of food etc?

    • It's actually VAX

      and yeah, it's bloody annoying!

  • the M&S food adverts

    Everytime.

    • The best one was the Easter one

      She had to say "Mr and Mrs Bunny would like to wish you a very happy Easter" in her sexiest voice. It was quite creepy, really. Like she was seducing a child.

  • ive kind of become obsessed with air freshner ads

    there are so many of them, offering 'ambient' flashing lights, puffs every few seconds, rotating fragrance etc...you just have to wonder what the hell people are doing in their houses that require that level of artificial fragrancing.

    TAKE YOUR BINS OUT, OPEN A WINDOW, FLUSH YOUR TOILET

    • The one that really used to get me

      was ALWAYS in the breaks of Countdown and 15 to 1.

      "Hate the invasive glare of the sun in your living room? Then you need new SUN AWNINGS, endorsed by John Stalker, former Chief Officer of Greater Manchester Police" (he does piece to camera before patting his golden retrivere and pulling a blind down.

      I lived in Aberdeen when these were on. We'd have done ANYTHING to got the "invasive glare of the sun" never mind shut it out.

      • Haha,

        I always liked those because of how disinterested the dog was. And I like dogs.

  • Flash With Flashguard.

    I'VE MADE A TACTICAL SUBSTITUTION

    • "Oh, is it on, i didnt know"

      how the hell can you not know, your wife knows you are lying to her and will leave you for being a fat smug bastard and your child will grow to hate you for trying to be funny when all you are doing is cleaning the fucking kitchen you waste of space

  • Capital One identity fraud ones

    all based on really crude gender stereotypes
    Woman: "Look! Someone's bought a DRILL with my card!"
    Inference: this is OBVIOUSLY identity fraud because drills are for BOYS, duh!

    they're all like that and they make me want to punch big holes in my telly.

    • I'm here to help you with your loan

      along wiht susan, and bill, who will personally see to it that its sorted

      no you won't it'll go to someone in dubai who can't speaka the english

      • Capital One don't have a call centre in Dubai

        • They do have call centres

          in Bangalore, Manilla and Montreal.
          The majority of the people who work there actually do a really good job, especially considering the sickening racist attitudes of some of the dicks they speak to.
          </rant>

    • Bring back sea creatures playing golf

      to Ian Dury and The Blockheads!

    • Oh

      I like that one. Mostly the monster truck bit because it's so surprisingly excessive with the whole actual monster truck crushing a load of trolleys. I like the little touch of the woman being all trailer trash and chewing gum, and the "I <3 my truck".

    • That advert is also

      basically implying that if you buy a load of stuff you wouldn't be expected to buy, you could just get Capital One to give you loads of money.

      And if they don't, it's a misleading advert.

  • That bank one

    with the fat cunt who is blatantly supposed to be working in Abbey

    "Gotta have a bit of bubbly for the shareholders. glug glug glug"

    I know it's supposed to be annoying, and it's worked. Really fucking well

    • I have a better one

      Those "Picture the Loan" adverts.

      The c*nts in those ads DESERVE to have their home repossessed.

    • I actually like those ones

      Anything that mentions things like acti-bifidus regularis, pentapedtides or any made-up special formula make me homocidal.

  • Does anyone remember

    that Head & Shoulders (I think) one with Tom (?) who has "a look for every occasion"?

    I remember a rather disgruntled thread about that on here.

    • Mickey, you mean?

      I think just about everyone who clapped eyes on that ad wanted to knock fuck out of him.

      • Yes, it was Mickey

        I think it reminded me of someone I know a bit. Oh dear.

  • BANG!

    and the dirt is gone.

    • Esure Ads

      My. God.

      • Whats the one where the boy's singing 'Something tells me i'm on to something good'

        About a bloody bank?

  • thoughts on the new Pot Noodle offering?

    ignoring the stupid stereotyping, it's fairly funny. it's like david cameron being rick astley or something.

  • None come to mind

    but surely the guy from the drink driving advert is the best actor in the world.

  • the burger one

    with the people sat on the beach with acoustic guitar singing about meat and sauces - sort of like a twee mobile advert but with no hip musicians in it and shitter

    • i saw that last night

      god it's shit

  • THAT ONE

    JUST NOW

    GOD IT WAS TERRIBLE

    mcdonalds california burger or some shit

    • agreed

      all their america burgers all seem to sound the same. BEEF BACON CHEESE MAYBE SOME TOKEN SALAD. WOW WE'RE SO ORIGINAL.

  • KFC

    chicken is just disgusting all the time though.

  • The adverts that ripped off this guy>

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JzqumbhfxRo

    Yeah that's right Sacla and Volkswagen you shameful plagiarists!

    • that guy on the Sacla advert is a bit mad

      I certainly wouldn't trust him with that knife. Someone ought to tell him it's just sauce, like.