"Emergency is the album the Arctic Monkeys might have made if they fired Alex Turner and replaced him with Michael off The Apprentice. What a horrible thought."

I didn't mind it as much as that though.

Was reading this on the train this morning, then forwarded the link to a ton of people. It's genius.

It's kind of funny, and it's also a kind of below the belt hatchet job with a few cheap laughs thrown in for good measure.

He said what he thinks though, I suppose...

really is amazing

"you think ITV indie's bad, mate, here's Granada Men and Motors indie"

"it's like being dumped by Chris Moyles"

This one is very good as well, done on the audio bullys:
http://arts.guardian.co.uk/filmandmusic/story/0,,1607745,00.html

Aren't you supposed to explain what the music sounds like in music reviews?

that's belting stuff.

but reminding the listener of vintage Morrissey and Marr midway through Emergency seems needlessly cruel, like reading out the menu from Alain Ducasse's Plaza Athénée restaurant to someone eating a Ginster's Scotch Egg Bar.

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/music/2008/05/the_worst_reviewed_albums_of_r.html

I love the concept of being smug about hating Origin Of Symmetry and Myths Of The Near Future. Yeah, that really stopped their careers in their tracks!

Genuinely well-written review! I loved it. The writer's a wordsmith. Slagging the Pigeon Detectives off is as easy as praising the Beatles, but the way he approaches it is perfect.

Loved it.

"Mammiferous female" is?!

then it's a lot easier to find things to complain about. If Johnny Foreigner were my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend's band I'd probably be able to find a way to justify giving it a 1 star review (I just listened to The End and Everything After for an example that any lyric taken out of context can be easily held to ridicule. Unfortunately the song doesn't have one but you get the idea).

reading that, the Pigeon Detectives really are gash.