then her face, but to her tits, then wink at them.

people say on here, apart from this.

do not attempt any discussion at a bus stop

sounding like joey from friends is optional

i told a very pretty girl she had the greatest haircut i had ever seen

She stared at me blankly then walked off

What do you women want?

are going to keep me chuckling for the rest of the afternoon

they're all solipsists really and love it. Also you have to be hunky. Girls pretend they like "interesting" people, but they like hunks. Be a hunk. Even if it seems really sexist and sleazy at first, you have to be "a gentleman" by doing stuff like holding doors. The main attraction women feel for men grows when they discuss their dates posthumously with their harpie friends. Girls desperately seek acceptance from their peers, so the aim is to try and seem nice if somebody told somebody else about you.

Girl 1: Oh come to think of it he held the door for me
Girl 2: wow that's really nice, I bet he's really nice
Girl 1: Yeah come to think of it he is
*attraction grows*

All of this is 100% true.

girls love generous guys.

i was talking to a relatively good looking man whilst on the door at a club. then this happened:

him: your smile is far too pretty for me to go. give me your phone number.
me: (really nervous laughter/uncomfortableness) erm, oh! erm.. no... sorry.
him: why? do you have a boyfriend?
me: no
him: then why would you not give me your number?
me: i just.. erm.. don't want to?
him: look, i'm going to leave this piece of paper here. you write your phone number on it and i'll be back in five minutes okay?

five minutes pass

him: you've not written your number down.
me: no
him: look, i run a bar over the road. come for a drink?
me: (getting annoyed) don't you think the fact that i won't give you my number kind of means i probably won't do that either?
him: ha! harsh! look, here's my number. i give up.

so don't do that. although i think the problem with that was me, because i just turn into a wreck in those kind of situations. he was really attractive as well, but i can't cope in those situations. plus he was a bit too cocky.

1) Go to a bar and stand aloof from the crowd looking disinterested, as if your life is so interesting that your presense in the bar is a gift to the people there.

2) Catch the same bus each day as a pretty girl - you may have to try several different routes.

3) Join an online messageboard.

in this really rubbish department store when a man came and stood behind me and said 'You know, I'd pay good money to see you in one of those... Can I have your number?'.

Don't do that.

when you call them 'babes' and when you offer to buy them a drink but then hold your hand out and wait for the money to be given to you

flawless.

also, maybe go upto a girl from front on, make it obvious you are checking her out but look undecided, then look at her arse, if satisfactory say "well, that's the clincher. let's have sex".

alternatively just become good friends with girls and go over a year without having sex.

whilst gurning so hard you permanently damage the tracking of your jaw.

Then report back on here.

tap the desired mate of your choice and then say
"well it's not gonna suck itself sweetheart"
always works for me.