"You Call that a Knife..."
"I'll Be Back"
"1.21 GIGAWATTS!!!"

for some reason, seasons 3/4 blur into one i think.

Anyway, the first two episodes of this season have been absolute gold. Piggin' Coffee Break.

Superhans is the best:
"I'll tell you what, this crack is really more-ish."

..pretty expensive, if I remember correctly..."

"I went once with a 4 pack and some security guard took it off me, but I don't think it was a security guard and then it all got a bit too much so Dad picked me up."

"learn all the hin-does and the hin-don'ts"

"Tell me clean shirt, how do you get that shirt so clean?"

"This is good. This is just like watching a porn film, except I can't see anything, I haven't got a hard on, and I want to cry..."

back in the days before it got such a bad name"

:D

*kicks toilet door down*
"Sorry lads, little switch...been like that since dad locked me in the airing cupboard to monitor the homebrew."

It's good, just not as good as it used to be. Sorry.

dance class. genius !

but I don't think I'll be getting the job."

"Fantasy Figure Modeller? Jesus. Maybe this is his porn."

"I could rape him. I'm not going to, but I *could* rape him"

I just bought this!

http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;-1;-1;-1&sku=703800

£15.99 for 4 series, bargain!

he's been a loan manager for the last five years, he lives with me and he eats ready-meals, and we play guess-the-revels and watch Men in Black in front of our massive telly and we have a fucking good time."

Mark: "Jez, you better not be buying just chocolate beer and crisps."
Jez: "Of course not! There's dips!" (I'll say I ate the dips)

"Hold your horses honey, I've got coupons for the pringles!"

"Well, you should be more careful you... jizz-cock!"
"What?"
"You could have had my legs off you... piss-kidney."

"She's ignoring me. Of course, she's ignoring me. I sent her a swastika."

I <3 Peep Show

Do I suck mummy's finger?"

you better watch where you stand"

That and "fuck off clean shirt"

"We're gonna have parties in here that go beyond fun and actually get really nasty."

"Uh... yeah. I spent, uh, some time with Ray before he... went, and, I just wanted to say that, um, I think we should all remember that Ray, by the end... he loved Jesus. Now, I know, Liz, there's no proof for Jesus, but then, there's no proof for lots of things, like science, or, the stock market, and... we believe in them. Look, what I'm trying to say, is that, if I was dying, and I decided that even though I'd never particularly been into say, uh... Enya before, but that now I really really was into Enya, and that in fact I thought Enya was great, and that Enya died for our sins, and I wanted an Enya themed funeral with pictures of Enya and lots and lots of mentions of... Enya, then I think it would be a bit bloody rich, for my sister, to ban all mention of Enya, from my funeral! Yeah?"

I've reached the next level, I've gone BEYOND!"

.

with a phone.

do you think you could do without any washing up liquid?"

"Oh, that is great. You wouldn't even let me drink your piss. I'm not trying to kiss you, Mark. It's liquid waste."

which one of us would you suck off?

Super Hans: Why didn't you tell me about the wanking-off bit?
Jez: Sorry, I didn't think.
Super Hans: Well you should've bloody thought. Jesus!
Jez: Did you do it?
Super Hans: 'Course I did. How do you think I got these trainers?

"Super Hans, are you trying to skin up with your feet again?"

'How thick is wall?'

I am now buying Peep Show 1-4 and have never ever seen it properly before in my life. Unfortunately HMV won't accept any type of student number, discount card number or NUS number I throw at it, does anyone have one I could just use this once? :) Thanks.x

well not actual justice, but what I want, which is basically the same thing.

"What does that even mean? I literally have no idea what that means."

and since then I've watched all of series one and two. I'm half way through three now.
:)

I had the opportunity. I just didn't have the motive."

and im right about this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-OH1QNa5Dc

maybe one of my favourite episodes ever. This series is definitely trouncing the last one.

"(Note to self Re: being the Fonz - Mark, you are *not* the Fonz.)"

"Then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like... I like you. I mean, not that. But anyway... I noticed that the paper in the photocopier is running a bit low so... I know it's not really your job but... You know, so... see you tomorrow"

"this crack's a bit moreish" [superhans is my favourite"

"Did you have to eat the dog?" "Well at that moment i felt that i needed to eat it"

the scene where they're at the club and mark is faking coming up on an e. especially the face he pulls.

the scene where jez tapes weed to the frisbee and throws it out the window for superhans

the wedding where they find superhans in the toilets after doing 4 grams of coke 'to help him relax'

hahahhaa

i don't ever want it to end!

I don't think anyone has ever been this unhappy while drinking champagne...

he's taking it down, he's taking it down"

if i could have a pound for everytime i've said this when i'm out in clubs, i'd have about £41 pounds.