At one point in my life my favourite joke (for a week or so) was this:
Q: What do you call a dog with 5 dicks?
A: Take That and Lulu!
Now the problem here is obvious, this joke is irrelevant now. Don't worry, it's my problem I'll deal with it.
But my question to you is - do you have any jokes featuring bands/musicians/solo artists? Doesn't matter if it's good.
(p.s. i'm bored)
i'll tell you a joke
elton john
here's one
Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock
Who's there?
Phillip Glass.
:D
Even more obsolete
What do you call a dog with Wings? Linda McCartney.
At least she ain't around to be offended.
That joke is Quorn-y...
lollabelly chuffties
A joke from Neil Hamburger:
Q. What's the difference between fucking a a porcupine and fucking Courtney Love?
A. A porcupine won't give you AIDS.
Not funny.
read the subject line again
"A joke from Neil Hamburger".
So, there's these two They Might Be Giants
:D
Q: Why did Kim Gordon give head to Lee Renaldo?
A: 'Cos she was Thurston Moore.
Q: What do you get when you mix the Pixies circa 1989 with 375 lbs. of human fat?
A: The Pixies reunion tour.
Q: How many members of Ladybug Transistor does it take to paint a wall red?
A: It depends on how good your swing is.
Q: What does Kim Gordon have in common with your grandmother?
A: Age.
Q: What does At The Drive-In have in common with the MC5?
A: Nothing.
Q: What’s the difference between Willie Mays and Stephen Malkmus?
A: Willie Mays was the greatest center fielder of all time, and Stephen Malkmus fucks little boys.
All shamelessly borrowed from the wonderful Chunklet Magazine.
You forgot the the best one, R x2
What do Frank Black and Kim Deal have in common?
They both have great tits.
shamelessy pilfered from steve albini
what's orange and looks good on pete doherty?
FIRE
What's the difference between an onion and pete doherty? No one cries when you slice up pete doherty...
one more
knock knock
who's there?
<4 mins 33 seconds later>
...John Cage.
absoluteroflmfoaofolanmrofnofodflsgfgfdgertfroflmfolmfolmaofll,fsdnfo
knock knock
who's there?
*no answer*
*woman opens door and finds box waiting*
*cuts it open with scissors*
*John Cale falls out dead*
THAT'S BRILLIANT!
You are my new favourite person.
why couldnt stevie wonder read?
he was black.
oh my god
:D
Similarly
Why did stevie wonder fail his driving test.
Because he's black.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
He hasn't.
what does stevie wonder's wife do after a fight?
Rearranges the furniture.
Not really a joke
more like a play on her name really. But I laughed. I hope you're still bored because it's right at the end.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NbwTQu6P78
I can't be bothered to recite in full the joke
about Zack de la Rocha that ends with him saying "Fork queue, I won't do what you tell me"...
bit out dated
how many members of ocean colour scene does it take to change a light bulb?
4 - one to change the bulb and the other three to go and ask paul weller how to do it.
it can be brought more up to date by changing ocean colour scene to the enemy.
even more outdated, but...
Why did Elton John have trouble finding his way to Guildford?
Because Surrey seemed to be the hardest word.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron.
oh and
there's that really awful one about one of bloc party looking to buy a new bed.
Something about if he was looking for a miricoil.