I was planning on going there on Sat only to just have realised that there was this fire. any info as to whether it is business as usual? thanks
I was planning on going there on Sat only to just have realised that there was this fire. any info as to whether it is business as usual? thanks
LOLZ?
Well, if you were planning on drinking at the Hawley Arms you'll have to change your plans........
Yeah, I think they have got a BBQ going on or like something...
Kbye.
All of Camden's gone.
All of it.
Sadly all the horrible scenesters weren't locked inside.
ROBOT FOUND IN SPAIN
MONSTER DEALS, ONE DAY ONLY
PARKING NOT INCLUDED IN PRICE OF HOLIDAY
MONKEY, WHY, WONKY, NO
AN APPLE A DAY = NO SLEEP FOR DR CHIMPS
I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM TYPING
DOG RUNS FOR MAYOR, AFGAN SPOILS COAT
PICKLES VOTED NUMBER ONE SURNAME FOR OTTER
READ, ONLY IF, MOTHER IS IN THE HOUSE
MAN I CANT STOP, PLUG TURNS INTO HIPPY
DEATH DISCO CLOSED, SQUARE CRISP JOY
WHEN DO COWS GROW THEIR UDDER AND 5 MORE
CHAFFINCH FOUND IN WELL, ALL IS WELL
ah, here we go;
"FIRE OF LONDON, LONDON BRIDGE COLLAPSES, PLAGUE THEN THIS "IS THERE A WITCH IN THIS MACBETH?", RESPONSE NOT REQUESTED, TOWN CRIER DEAD"
MAN MARRIES GOAT
CYCLIST BREAKS ARM
I DON'T WANNA DIE!
KT: THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME GRAVE CIRCUMSTANCES INVOLVED FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO OCCUR!
LIKE... THE FATE OF HUMANKIND!!
KA: THE FATE OF HUMANKIND!?
KT: IN OTHER WORDS ...
SHE SLAPPED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS AN ALIEN WHOSE CHEEKS, WHEN SLAPPED, WOULD KILL HIM, BUT, WHEN SLAPPED AGAIN, WITHIN THREE MINUTES, WOULD CAUSE AN EXPLOSION THAT WOULD ANNIHILATE ALL OF HUMANKIND!!
NA
NU
NA
NU
KA: WOW!!
KT: SO THEN. HOW WAS SHE ABLE TO TELL HE WAS AN ALIEN?
IN FACT, SHE WAS ARTIFICIALLY CREATED FROM THE SPERM OF GIGLAMESH AND AN EGG CELL OF HITLER'S DAUGHTER, PAETTA HITLER, BOTH PRESERVED IN A SIBERIAN GLACIER. HER PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION WERE FOILED AT THE AGE OF SEVENTEEN, WHEN SHE DROWNED IN THE SEA, AND WAS LATER FOUND BY THE LOST EMPIRE OF ATLANTIS. THERE SHE WAS RECONSTRUCTED INTO AN ALMIGHTY ANDROID. THAT'S HOW SHE COULD DETECT ALIENS!!
ALIEN!?
DING DING
BUT SADLY HER SLAP WAS IN FACT THE SECOND ONE MADE WITHIN THREE MINUTES! IN OTHER WORDS, IT WAS THE ARMAGEDDON SLAP...
FWAK
ATLANTIS HAD BEEN SUNK BY HUMANKIND. THE PEOPLE OF ATLANTIS HAD PROGRAMMED HER TO SLAP THE ALIEN TWICE, SO THEY COULD WREAK THEIR REVENGE ON THE LAND-DWELLERS. HER TEARS WERE OF SEA WATER --WHICH SYMBOLISED THE PAIN AND THE SUFFERING OF THE ATLANTEAN PEOPLE!!
IT ALL TOOK PLACE IN THE PROPHETIC JULY OF 1999. YES, IT WAS JUST AS NOSTRADAMUS PREDICTED! THE ALIEN WAS CHRIST, AND CHRIST WAS, IN FACT, AN ALIEN!!
KA: IT'S AWESOME...
WHAT AN AWESOME STORY...
I'M TOTALLY MOVED, TAKEKUMA!!
KT: THAT'S WHAT A GOOD STORY DOES.
NOW THEN, COME UP WITH A STORY THAT'S DEDUCTIVE.
KA: UH HUH.
THE GIRL SLAPS THE GUY, THEN WHAT HAPPENS?
THE GUY SAID "OUCH!"
KT: AH, FORGET IT. GIVE IT UP.
HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.
THE GIRL SLAPPED THE BOY...
FWAK
AND HIS HEAD FLEW OFF!
AIEE FWOOOSH
FLYING OVER THE OCEAN, THE HEAD LANDS ON THE GREAT PYRAMIDS OF CHEOPS...
...AND ALL THE PYRAMIDS ALL OVER EGYPT EMIT THE SOUND OF "MOMEN"!
MOMEN MOMEN
UH OH! <- ONE OF THE TWELVE PSYCHIC APOSTLES, MOGADAVE
KT: THE MOAI STATUES ON EASTER ISLAND RESPOND TO THIS SIGNAL AND FLY INTO OUTER SPACE.
FWOOSH
DAMN! <- ONE OF THE TWELVE PSYCHIC APOSTLES, NADJA
KT: THE CLAY-FIGURED SPACESHIPS RESPOND AND LAUNCH THEIR ATTACK!! THE TWELVE PSYCHIC APOSTLES PUT UP A VALIANT FIGHT... BUT HUMANKIND IS ANNIHILATED!!
TWELVE PSYCHIC APOSTLES ->
BUH WHAM BUH WHAM
BUH WHAM
ARRGGH! HELP! NOOOOOO!
KT: IT HAPPENED JULY, 1999.
KA: ... ... ...
KT: BUT THAT WAS ONLY THE BEGINNING! AS FAR AS REST OF THE UNIVERSE WAS CONCERNED...
KA: WOAH
KT: FOR YOU SEE, THE CHIEF OF THE UNITED SPACE FEDERATION SUPREME COUNCIL, CHILAI A BOPPO, WHO RESIDED ON THE THE THIRD PLANET HONBULI ON THE KEPELOS STAR SYSTEM OF THE SEVENTH GALAXY, FOUND HIMSELF IN A DILEMMA.
TMP TMP
Ahh...! I cannot believe what my daughter has done! She should know better than the invasion of the planets is a violation of the charter of the Space Federation! I gave her the planet of Moleron.
I simply cannot overlook the matter even though it involves my daughter! The Federation forces must go to the third planet of the sun system and teach the Moleronese and my daughter a lesson!
Yes, sir!
KT: AND SO CHILAI A BOPPO TOOK HIS FEDERATION FORCES TO EARTH BUT BECAUSE OF A WARP ERROR THEY WERE SWALLOWED BY A BLACK HOLE!!
INSIDE THE BLACK HOLE LAY THE VORTEX OF LIFE FORCE. AT THE CENTRE OF THIS VORTEX WAS A BRIGHT, SHINING MYSTERIOUS WOMAN!
THE MYSTERIOUS WOMAN WHISPERED "MA-HI-NA" AND DISAPPEARED.
SHNORR SHNORR
MEANWHILE ON EARTH, THE DAUGHTER OF CHILAI A BOPPO, CHILAI A BIPPE, RECEIVED IMPORTANT INFORMATION FROM THE GENIUS SCIENTIST HALOME YANG: "LEADER, IF WE USE THIS MINERAL ON EARTH CALLED METHANE GAS WE CAN BUILD A WEAPON THAT CAN DESTROY AN ENTIRE GALAXY!!" "WHAT'S THAT!?" MEANWHILE, THE FREEMASONS HAS SURVIVED THE ARMAGEDDON, HIDING IN A GIGANTIC UNDERGROUND SHELTER IN THE DEPTHS OF THE SOUTH POLE, CONCOCTING PLANS OF THEIR OWN...
SHNORR SHNORR
If this is you then cool
but if it is a copy and paste job then no.
BONG BANG
"Peter there's ah man at tha door fae you"
"PETER! PETER! HE SAYS HE IS FAE THE GAS BOARD"
"PPPPEET.....!!!"
"...WHEESCHT MA, am comin, whos at the door, i was bloody well sleeping"
"Who are you then?"
"Oh, hello young chap, are you Peter Fills"
"Aye, whos askings like?"
"Oh, Its Me...Its Papa"
SCENE