Freddie at Live Aid, David Byrne and his baggy suit in the never-bettered Stop Making Sense or Derek Smalls getting trapped in a pod on-stage during This is Spinal Tap. A band’s work (even the fictional ones) can traverse the gap from memorable to iconic in an instance if they’re at the right place, at the right time, with a camera trained on them.
Obviously a band with one eye firmly placed on their entry in the rock history books, U2 have long embraced epic, grandiose and occasionally ridiculous gestures in their roughly 30-year, globe-spanning career. It comes as no surprise then that instead of releasing a normal concert film, they had to go and make a 3D one during a stop in South America on their recent Vertigo tour.
Is it the future of concert films? Who knows…but simultaneously intrigued and terrified by the thought of a 20-metre-high 3D Bono, we recently attended a press screening of the film at the London IMAX (initial news report here) and came back with the following minute-by-minute account of what transpired in front of our eyes over the course of 80 minutes.
U23D poster
- - -
18:47 – Enter cinema. Handed large plastic 3D glasses.
18:51 –Announcer gives us press quotes and information about the film. Warned that a photographer from The Times will be taking a few photos of the audience during start.
18:54 – Film starts. Momentarily blinded by photographer’s flash.
18: 55 – Opening includes jump shots of people rushing into stadium with a voice in the background murmuring the words “Everyone”.
18:56 – Opening chords of ‘Vertigo’ are heard. Bono appears in silhouette. The waving 3D arms of the crowd projected onto screen give small shock.
19:00 – Incredibly large close up of entire band.
19:02 – Woman sitting next to me starts clapping at the end of ‘Vertigo’. Stops suddenly when she remembers she’s not at an actual gig.
19:06 – On-screen crowd cries out for Bono. Sound like they’re at a religious service crying out for salvation. Disturbed by implications of this.
19:08 – Messianic style pose from Bono spotted.
19:13 – Image of Bono projected on a giant screen behind the band. Decide to label this the po-mo Bono moment.
19:17 – Bono finishes song with a hug…that he gives to himself.
19:20 – Glimpse of small Bono belly.
19:22 – Bono puts on a bandana with a Muslim crescent, Star of David and crucifix drawn on to it during lead up to ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’…he’s at it again.
19:23 – Woman next to me claps.
19:26 – Bono angrily yanks microphone from stand and gets ‘serious’ during lead up to song climax.
19:28 – Close up of Bono making a cupping hand motion. It looks like he’s trying to stroke my head when shown in 3D.
19:29 – Woman quietly claps.
19:31 – Messianic pose #2.
19:32 – Bono places bandana over eyes. Slowly walks out blindfolded onto stage extension that snakes into crowd.
19:33 – Messianic pose #3.
19:35 – Bono looks rather short even on an IMAX screen.
19:37 – Bono missed his calling in musical theatre.
19:39 – A declaration of human rights is projected behind the band while they are read aloud by an off-screen voice. Woman claps.
19:40 – Honestly…
19:42 – Wonder how much hair product Larry Mullen must use to kept his ‘wet-look’ hair slicked back after almost an hour of drumming.
19:43 – Screen cuts to a shot of the audience, revealing numerous topless men sitting on their respective friend’s shoulders shouting for Bono. WTF?
19:44 – Messianic pose number #5…now with pumping fist action. (What happened to #4? - Ed)
19:45 – Woman claps.
19:46 – Witness Bono inexplicably caressing Adam Clayton’s face during ‘Where The Streets Have No Name’.
19:52 – Band play ‘One’. Recall that my first girlfriend when I was 12 loved this song. Cue thoughts about where she is now.
19:53 – Woman claps.
19.58 – Band wave goodbye. Go backstage.
19:59 – Goddamn encores.
20:00 – A stream of random words and text starts floating across screen.
20:01 – Bono now wearing military style hat and coat.
20:02 – “When will it end” and “Unbearable” actually flash across screen.
20:06 – Play ‘With or With Out You’.
20:07 – Woman next to me starts to quietly sing along. More clapping.
20:08 – Messianic pose #6.
20:09 – Either the 3D is starting to fail or my eyes just can’t take this anymore.
20:10 – Overhear woman saying “Oh Bono”.
20:11 – God, please let this end.
20:12 – Prayer answered. The end.
Video: U23D trailer
- - -
U23D is released on February 22. Check out its website here.
Photo: U2.com
My favourite DiS review
^this
I've seen this
And although Bono's ego can be a little cringeworthy at times the whole spectacle is brilliant. Some of the 3D work is amazing even if you're not a massive fan of U2.
Charles, some of your reviews are quite funny but you're becoming a bit of a one trick pony.
"although Bono's ego can be a little cringeworthy"
A little cringeworthy? That's like saying Hitler was naughty!
this sounds terrifying
especially since you had to go back in time to 20:12 to actually escape the thing
Nice one Charles
What a completely and utterly shit review of what is probably a groundbreaking release.
Why oh why do 'journalists' bother reviewing output by bands that they clearly hate. Said output's fate is already decided.
Fucking idiot.
Because it amuses us
Which is enough of a reason really :)
as groundbreaking
as Jaws 3D no?
have you seen it then?
genuine question.
HAHAHA
When have U2 EVER been groundbreaking?
I think the fucking idiot is you
Zoo TV
was I reckon.
I think you sir
can get stuffed!
Obviously its not cool to like U2 (but i do, so fucking what). But releasing a concert film in this format is getting a lot of respect from people in this industry. They talk about it setting new standards and redefining the 'concert film' format. That, in my book, makes it groundbreaking. Okay?
No
As I have said below, I like some of U2's earlier songs. But ever since they became self absorbed, self righteous and egotistical to the point of nausea, I have long given up taking them seriously or bothered to line their (overfilled) pockets any more. This film is just another way for them to further globalize themselves, which is ironic given Bono's stance as purporting to be a supporter of make poverty history
Fine
So thats what you think of U2. I don't have a problem with that fella.
I do wonder though, if this was any other band (arctic monkeys possibly - seeing as you rate them 9/10?), whether that would change your opinion on the validity of the film, the motivation behind it, or the 'groundbreaking' tag?
Sorry to pick a fight with you on this. I don't mean it personally, but this site is so full of fucking indie scenester snobs who think their throwaway pop bands will save the world, who think they can slate bands that actually did, just because they've made some cash out of it. Its pathetic. So what if U2 release albums worth of drivel nowadays (I actually believe this). Everything they did up to and including Pop stands head and shoulders above the droves of shit being released by talentless morons day in day out right now. How many Kooks songs will people remember in 20 years time?
I do agree with you (up to a point)
Although I would have said (up to and including Achtung baby). And U2 "saving the world" - hmmmmm ;o)
I do normally just read this site and feel very much the same as you, lots of indie snobs thinking "having a go" at the bigger bands makes them look "cool". I have no need to look cool, I'm past that age now ;o)
Trust me, I take nothing personally from an internet forum
Plus I do need to update my ratings, arctic monkeys shouldn't be a 9!!
Is that because Artic Monkeys are quite big now?
;)
This ^^^^^^^
fool.
Nice adult response
My comment, (if a little flippant) still stands - what "groundbreaking" things have U2 done?
They early stuff is great rock music, but hardly defined as "groundbreaking". All their later stuff has become completely swallowed up by all their posturing, almost megalomania-like leanings.
the review
probably says more about the reviewers ego than anyones, after all it's not "cool" to like U2 is it ?
I like "some" of U2 songs
But everything the reviewer has said about them in this review is spot on
Egotistical, self righteous and pompous, and just not as good as they think they are
who defines good ?
the 100 million + who have bought U2 albums, or the 10's of 1000s who have bought albums by the artists who you rate ?
Neither is the correct answer - good is in the eye / opinion of the beholder, and you are entitled to that opinion.
I'm not especially a U2 fan - they've done some good stuff and a higher proportion of shit ( in my opinion )but what gets me is the blatant review that says it's cool to knock them, in fact the review says more about their devoted fans than the band, the film or their music...it is pretentious bollocks in its own right
True
But what did you expect from a site like this, 10/10 review? I think at least this gives the "other sides" opinion of the band, and not just Q magazine/NME "U2 are great/amazing" etc etc
Thing is though
if they/we already knew they would give it a bad review, what's the point in reviewing it in the first place?
no it isn't
because they're terrible cunts
I totally agree Hpipe
and the point of the reviewer going along when he already knew more or less the style and words he was going to wrote was Sean?
hahaha
"19:02 – Woman sitting next to me starts clapping at the end of ‘Vertigo’. Stops suddenly when she remembers she’s not at an actual gig."
Cool review!
A breakdown of me reading this review.
13:12 Clicks on page
13:13 Reviewer begins promisingly
13:14 Reviewer starts to list timings.
13:15 Reviewer is smug, does Messianic pose and I imagine them sitting next to me quitely whispering 'The board will love me. Someone love me. Please love me.' They realise I can hear them, and they stop.
13:16 I realise this review is horribly predictable
13:17 God please let this end.
13:18 Prayer answers, it ends.
13:19 A board of followers jump on the bandwagon. Is equally as predictable as the review. Reviewer's Messianic pose #2. Tens of DISers with short attentions spans shout 'Charles.' - WTF?
Spot on red
Although he wasn't referring to the reviewer, Gringo's description of "egotistical, self righteous and pompous, and just not as good as they think they are" fits the bill nicely.
HAHAH
^^^ This is true of both the reviewer AND U2, I would concur
That was brilliant
19:06 made me spit coffee everywhere, you bastards.
He (Bono)
should start his own religion called
Bo-nanism
Or U-Jew?
Where does Bono live?
Acton Baby!!! :OP
^genius!
This argument about how U2 is treated...
...seems to be a moot point in a way. Thing is, Arctic Monkeys, or whoever is a 'DiS band' probably wouldn't DO a 3D show. you have to be a U2 style band with that level of ambition to do something.
Thusly putting it in it's own world. And is treated in an different way to others.
And who's going to discover that 'hey, that actually love that band' by way of watching a 3d video?
A product for fans... ergo, what level of critical discussion do you honestly need?
Let's Wrestle however is a totally different scene...
Interesting point
Someone in another thread on here suggested Flaming Lips should do it next. I would really, really like to see that.
well
i have seen charles ubaghs strike a messianic pose and it was fucking mesmerizing, honestly
also, it was in 4D
(i applauded)
Are you Mark Kermode Doctor?
Charles Ubaghs
What a stupid fucking name.
this was my favourite bit :)
19:02 – Woman sitting next to me starts clapping at the end of ‘Vertigo’. Stops suddenly when she remembers she’s not at an actual gig.
.
the musuem where are work are showing this so i get the pleasure of seeing it like a billion times.
watching the trailer
feels like i'm being brainwashed, its the colours and the flying words and then the repetition of words, it honestly makes my skin crawl.
Pricks
You know monkeyboots, i think It's real low to mock someone on account of their name. I mean thats on the same level as making fun of the disabled. Do you laugh at your parents everytime you see them just because they have down syndrome? You got to be a real asshole to do that kind of shit.
On the topic of pricks, Bono strikes messianic poses because he IS the messiah. Forget turning water into wine, he can turn shit into gold. That's what I call godly
Funny Review
My fav one was:
19:02 – Woman sitting next to me starts clapping at the end of ‘Vertigo’. Stops suddenly when she remembers she’s not at an actual gig.
Bazooka_Joe
Not as low as making fun of your dead relatives. The Bummers.
It's very easy to hate Bono, in terms of following the flock
but I'm not buying it. He keeps life interesting. If all I ever saw was blokes in T-shirts and jeans staring at the floor, I'd give up on music and find another hobby.
He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy
U2 have made some good records - fact. They have made some po-faced shit too. This at least sounds better than the R&B U2 film (shudder). U2 take themselves painfully seriously - surely this is why there is a band called Bono Must Die. I had the pleasure of seeing Bono do the heroic flag waving thing once or rather trying since an over zealous stage hand had tied it down with an unbreakable knot. Oh, how he struggled. You'd have thought the laying on of hands would have been enough...