I hope something really annoying happens to Simon Cowell every day for the rest of his life.

Like really annoying like locking his keys in his car or getting robbed by a prostitute.

He's the one person you'd want to see die a grizzly death.

<controversy>
I like Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh is a cunt. He's an insipid leech of a character. At least Simon knows what he is and has a laugh being it.
</controversy>

MILLION-POUND NOTES!!

"One of the main roles will be available for an ordinary person. We will hold auditions up and down the country to find a talented young actor or actress for the role."

And then.... THEY'LL MAKE A TV SERIES OUT OF THAT TOO! Just like that INXS one!

Oh and the Vicky Pollard remake was right on-the-mark if a liiiiiiiitle cruel but these stupid fucks should know what they're letting themselves in for by now. Bothered.

i'd give him aids.

she rrrrrrrrrreally did look like vicky pollard though, and she was welsh - vicky & daffyd mix

The girls, who claim to do well on the workingmen's club circuit, later hit back.

Fiona said: "Cowell wants to take a good look in the mirror at himself because he's not all that at all."

But her views were not shared by Pam, who said: "Oh, I'd still do him though!"

Simon Cowell rocks my socks.

Last week, there was three girls on. One was a whale, one a chubby kappa slappa and the other a really thin little 18 year old. They were awful, the whale sang whilst they clicked their fingers. Simon Cowell said:

'You look like the before, during and after stages of Weight Watchers.'

He's brilliant. Another one he said:

'If it was out of a million, I'd still give you a one.'

I remember a star for a night but :

"Anyway, however the singer's performed and whatever they did, the judges would always tell them how wonderful they were and how, with talent like that, a hugely successful career in the music business was virtually assured. A few years later I've never heard anything from any of them."

Not heard of Joss Stone then?

Just goes to show all reality kareoke contests are evil.

i really like Simon Cowell actually- at least he's funny, to the point and being honest.

I saw the second of this series (i think) and it was really really scary. This girl who was 19 but looked 30 came on, a fairly big girl in the tightest most desperate dress, and her mum and fiance and sis were with her. Unanimously they agreed she was an amazing singer and this was her future- she practiced everyday etc etc.

So she goes on, singing "i believe i can fly". You wouldn't even know she was singing- she wasn't even terrible, just not very good and unmemorable. Simon simply said "i don't believe you're flying anywhere" or something. Shazza & Popeye agree and she runs out blubbing. Literally the poor girl is having a breakdown at which point Coldplays' fucking "Fix You" starts playing and the credits roll! Then her mum, sis and fiance run in to the audition room and get on their fucking KNEES and start begging like Oliver Twist kids, "please, we'll do anything, let her in, please, this is her life". Shazza is crying and Simon's just in shock.All the while the camera keeps cutting to closeups of the girl breakingdown to the sound of Chris Martin like it's an episode of Hollyoaks!

She was rubbish, and didn't deserve to get in, but i thought the filming was fo harsh- to show a whole family on their knees for Simon Cowell, and the media/pop industry, was just so depressing...they didnt have to show that- a whole families' dignity being ripped up for television/pop culture fame. Really sad, i thought.

"How do you sleep at night?"

"On a bed of money, with many beautiful girls..."

"Forget I asked."

I cannot believe the amount of Cowell-hatred happening here! The man is clearly a legend and the X-factor audition shows are some of the most entertaining things on TV.

And I have no sympathy with people who get insulted, no matter how harsh it is. You know you're letting yourself in for that, or at least you should.

"We will hold auditions up and down the country to find a talented young actor or actress for the role."

Oh, for FUCK's sake!!!

It's all about Sharon, though, isn't it? Even though she'd be a shit manager in this day and age.

to the fella hu mentioned star for a night, joss stone was on it. and now we cant bloody get rid of her shes everywhere, but it aint all bad, shes fit as a butchers dog

Some of you have a piont and some of you are just fucking sad!! Some people go on for a laugh as me and Fiona or (vicky) as she has been aptly named. We went on for a laugh!! I didn't have a nervous breakdown either. That was just some little remark i made and it got blown out of all proportion. I said how does he sleep at nite with the stress of the show on him. I definatley didn't say it how it was printed any way!!! We've made alot of money off the back of that which we thought they wouldn't even show our audition!!! So who's laughing now!!! To those opposed............suck my crack!!! xxx