Listing Dissings: Top 75 dissected

Tony Christie and Peter Kay fuck off all the way to the top of the charts, twats. 50 Cent debuts at no.4 to show that he's still really really popular innit, while fellow cartoon-ish rapper Will Smith returns to the Capital Radio airwaves and a no.6 placing. We thought we'd seen the last of Natalie Imbrugliwooglia, but she's there in the top ten. Blimey. In the cheeky twenty, it's British Sea Power doing a career best (we think) at 18 with 'It Ended On An Oily Stage' which is well good, and Erasure's higher than that at 15, proving that if you whack a keyboard on something at the moment....

Re-releasing nobbers Kasabian fail at 21 with 'Crap Foot' and you also get to see 'The Subways' emerge from the dark at no.25 with 'Oh Yeah', which is nice. Damien Rice really fuck right off to tossington city with a billionth new single entry at 29 and... wait! there's Bright Eyes and I Am Kloot at no.'s 37 & 38 this week! Incorruptible!

Outside the top 40, Dizzee Rascal's 'Off 2 Work' at 44, and a couple of nervous glances at Tom Vek who's an expensive no.45, and oh dear, The Thrills flail at 48. Yes the 'Irish Keep Gatecrashing', but we're hardly noticing at the 'mo... We didn't even realise that Mercury Rev released a single, and neither did very many others with a #54 placing. That's merely 6 places above Million Dead, who are the last new entry in the top 75 with a very decent no.60. 'Living The Dream' indeed...

Albums? Basement Jaxx's 'Singles' at 3, QOTSA do paralysis at 4 and then it's all the way down to 15 for the next entry which is Beck's 'Guero'. Ocean Colour Scene in at 30, the cheeky bastards. Arse nuggets.

Nothing else interesting, or actually at all in the top 75. NOTHING!

The Download chart is about as revolutionary as the notion of a multi-party electorate system, but there is Fightstar in at 26 with 'Palahniuk's Laughter', but even that's Island's money, isn't it? Oh and the lovely Willy MasonOxygen' entering newly at 35. That's what, 16 downloads? Cool. .