The Grates

The band's biog as taken from their so cutesy-wutesy-bootsy website, yesss:

grates have been friends since day 1. imagine that! just god and the grates. god got tired and then he had a rest. and then the grates had a rest. then they died and got reborn in the bodies of john, alana and patience. and met again, and they could all feel the instant connection like &*($^#*(&^(!!!!!! x2... like you wouldn't believe! in a drama workshop of all places, because they didn't want to go to sport on wednesday afternoons... drama class is also code for human interaction workshops. sometimes that's a code for dirrrty things, but not in this case.

it took patience a good year to learn how to sing a little bit better. and 5 years in early childhood to learn how to talk without a lisp. she was a pretty bad singer. i heard her a few times practicing, and i wished she wasn't practicing. but god said she could practice *whenever* she wanted. but she was pretty courteous, and only practiced in daylight hours.

alana used to drive a pink mini! what a wierdo. *and* she used to put a whole drumkit inside it and drive to a gig, but noone else could sit next to her, but that was ok cos she's just that type of girl. one time she hit a street sign and then didn't know where she was. she was ok, but couldn't remember recording her last album. spooky. her hair is also the closest to curly in all of the grates, though on a damp day, john's hair gets a little bit wavy.

john's afraid of dogs. one time one weed on his head, and he wasn't just afraid he was grossed out. all the piss wet hair ended up falling out, so he had bald patches for 4-6 weeks. he used to play saxaphone in the school band, but got bored with playing one note at a time. on guitar he can play 6 at a time!!!! on a piano he can play 10, but it sounds poor. rumour has it, he used to have a pink car. some say he's on maternity leave, others say he hasn't worked their for ***20 yeeeaarrs***

in conclusion, the grates really don't like horrible alarm clock noises. but soothing ones slime them out.